Author Topic: Carolus Rise  (Read 2907 times)

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Offline ExChairman (OP)

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Carolus Rise
« on: May 08, 2012, 05:11:17 AM »
Carolus Rise

2048 April 18th 03:56 Atlantis System. A lone freighter emerges throe the Sol wormhole, it sends a message throe light beam to Atlantis Colony.

“This is the Empire last communication to its brethren in Atlantis System. The Empire are destroyed, an Alien ship has wiped out all human civilization in Sol system, you are our new seeds in history, may you live long and prosper. In this ships data banks are our tota wealth in research technology, use it well and avenge us! In your military ranks are a female, descendant of the Bernadotte house, she will be your Empress and rule you all to greatness.”

2048 April 19th Atlantis. Diame Fabre, governor of Atlantis, are looking into the camera and starts speaking to the people of Atlantis.

"The Emperor is dead, the Empire is dead and all humanity in Sol system is dead..." She pauses for several seconds. "I received a communication from a lone freighter that entered our system throe the Sol gate, telling of a great enemy ship that poisoned the Mars and Earth with high radiation, killing everyone on those planets, in a last effort a small freighter were loaded with the total wealth of technology researched by man and are being delivered to us.”


A long pause follows.


A new camera is moving down a dark corridor to a closed door, it is opened and several sleeping forms can barely be seen in the semi dark room, a voice shouts, “Attention!” the sleeping forms jumps up and the light is turned on, an Imperial Colonel moves to the second person on the right, the private salutes the officer, he starts to answer the salute, then stops and goes down on one knee, looking up at the young perplexed woman, he tries to find the words to speak, after several attempts he finds his voice and says.

Sire, you are the only surviving heir to the throne, we all need you to follow us to the Governor house, there everything will bee explained”

The comrades are looking on, they are chocked by their Colonel’s move and stunned by his words, one after the other they all kneel to their comrade.
Veni, Vedi, Volvo
"Granström"

Wargame player and Roleplayer for 33 years...
 

Offline xeryon

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2012, 07:45:31 AM »
Nice start.  Your earlier fiction was a little dry.  Over the course of this extended campaign your creativity in filling in the details has turned into a nice read.  I now look forward to reading more.
 

Offline ExChairman (OP)

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2012, 12:10:01 PM »
Hmmm, a thaught, the imperial title is unisex, isnt it? I mean I called a woman, Sire, at the time i didnt think about that word.
Veni, Vedi, Volvo
"Granström"

Wargame player and Roleplayer for 33 years...
 

Offline xeryon

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2012, 02:42:45 PM »
Majesty is the formal address for King and Queen.  In English sir/sire is the casual masculine term used to address a King and Ma'am is the casual feminine.

Sir/Sire and Ma'am are traditionally a general casual address to anyone of higher political standing then you are.  In English they are used now for general respectful addressing of anyone you are trying to be pleasant with.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2012, 02:46:16 PM by xeryon »
 

Offline Steve Walmsley

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2012, 03:33:29 PM »
Majesty is the formal address for King and Queen.  In English sir/sire is the casual masculine term used to address a King and Ma'am is the casual feminine.

Sir/Sire and Ma'am are traditionally a general casual address to anyone of higher political standing then you are.  In English they are used now for general respectful addressing of anyone you are trying to be pleasant with.

I'll try that tomorrow with my boss and see if it helps. "Walmsley, get that done immediately!", "Of course, Sire"

Steve
 

Offline xeryon

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2012, 03:49:05 PM »
You might want to drop the "e".  :)
 

Offline ExChairman (OP)

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Re: Carolus Rise
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2012, 01:37:11 PM »
Wasnt happy with this writing, so i used the speech and put some more words here and there and moved it to the next installment... Be free to comment on the next part of the Empires Saga... ;)
Veni, Vedi, Volvo
"Granström"

Wargame player and Roleplayer for 33 years...