Author Topic: The American Dream - Comment Thread  (Read 1180 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Texashawk

  • Warrant Officer, Class 1
  • *****
  • Posts: 87
    • View Profile
The American Dream - Comment Thread
« on: March 12, 2010, 12:01:37 AM »
Hello Aurorites(?)

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your incredible game and world. My name is Steve Hawkins, and as I am a new writer to the world of Aurora, any comments/advice/witty rejoinders would be fantastic!!

Thanks for your interest in my fiction! :-)

Steve
 

Offline backstab

  • BTS! Playtesters
  • Lieutenant
  • **
  • Posts: 153
  • Thanked: 1 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2010, 01:38:06 AM »
Nothing like a good nuclear war to start a game with ! looking good !
Move foward and draw fire
 

Offline Texashawk

  • Warrant Officer, Class 1
  • *****
  • Posts: 87
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2010, 12:12:42 AM »
Thank you BS!! I was thinking it was a little cliche, myself, but as I started to write the prologue it just seemed right. Plus, most people aren't going to wade through 20-30 pages of expository before any game action happens, so I had to accelerate the plot a bit.

Hope you keep reading!

Steve
 

Offline Venec

  • Chief Petty Officer
  • ***
  • Posts: 47
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2010, 03:10:18 AM »
You hooked me up, looking forward to updates :)
 

Offline Shinanygnz

  • Lieutenant
  • *******
  • Posts: 175
  • Thanked: 1 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2010, 06:42:59 AM »
Talk about not making it easy for yourself.  A nuclear war leaving the world a blasted ruin and a TN start (yes?).  Hope you get off Earth before everybody dies  :D

Stephen
 

Offline Beersatron

  • Rear Admiral
  • **********
  • Posts: 976
  • Thanked: 2 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2010, 03:54:11 PM »
I am liking it.

One question, you are using the designation 'Prime' for some characters. Where is that from? I am wracking my brain because it is a fairly unique way of ranking and I could have sworn I have seen it in a novel before.
 

Offline Texashawk

  • Warrant Officer, Class 1
  • *****
  • Posts: 87
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2010, 04:57:31 PM »
Thank you all for your interest!!

Beers... nothing particular; though perhaps the 'Souls in the Great Machine' trilogy might have had an influence. But probably just my subconscious working over lots and lots and lots of sci-fi that I've read and seen.  :D

Steve
 

Offline Beersatron

  • Rear Admiral
  • **********
  • Posts: 976
  • Thanked: 2 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2010, 05:21:41 PM »
I think it was this novel I am thinking about: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/e-e ... primes.htm

I have it in paperback back home in Northern Ireland but don't have it here in Houston with me. Think I can get it on Project Guttenberg through Stansa on the iPod Touch.
 

Offline Beersatron

  • Rear Admiral
  • **********
  • Posts: 976
  • Thanked: 2 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2010, 05:59:19 PM »
Liking the new additions, particularly liking the memos in all-caps and the level of detail in the headers/email-cc-list etc

I am also impressed that you are rp'ing it to the point of designing and constructing a ship that is only good for morale! How are you factoring that into the actual stats of Earth, I wasn't aware you could SM morale?

Keep it up! :)
 

Offline Texashawk

  • Warrant Officer, Class 1
  • *****
  • Posts: 87
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2010, 05:56:58 PM »
Quote from: "Beersatron"
Liking the new additions, particularly liking the memos in all-caps and the level of detail in the headers/email-cc-list etc

I am also impressed that you are rp'ing it to the point of designing and constructing a ship that is only good for morale! How are you factoring that into the actual stats of Earth, I wasn't aware you could SM morale?

Keep it up! :)

Thanks for coming back Beersatron!!

Yeah, I'm one for the detail - I love the amount of detail the Aurora engine gives you, so I figure... why not?

As for morale, honestly it's more of a RP thing. One issue with a CN start is that there is really very little going on before you send up your first ship is that the narrative can be a little... dry. Since I already had the background of a ruined planet, I wanted to give the feeling that the world is on the brink of collapse unless humanity sees some sort of 'guiding light'. I do have a lot of unrest (due to the nuclear fallout) but my ground troops are holding that back. No specific morale bonuses are implied or given, though I do think that would be a cool additional bit of RP use!!
 

Offline procyon

  • Captain
  • **********
  • Posts: 402
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2010, 03:35:17 AM »
Excellent story.  Don't have much of an idea of how Aurora works, but you don't need to for your fiction.  
Keep up the great work.   Definitely going to become one I check every time I drop by the site.
... and I will show you fear in a handful of dust ...
 

Offline StratPlayer

  • Chief Petty Officer
  • ***
  • Posts: 33
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2010, 08:49:01 AM »
Wow, excellent work!!!

I'm really enjoying the story!  You've done a fabulous job with the characerizations and highlighting the dramatic elements of the scenes.  I like the mix of methods -- scenes, memos, news-stories, reports, etc.  All used to great effect to concisely move the story and highlight the  drama and conflict.  Focusing on the drama and the role-playing really makes this effective -- much more so than a dry yearly list of events, as in a typical AAR, in my opinion.

Fabulous stoty-telling!  I look forward to reading more!
"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"
 

Offline Garfunkel

  • Commodore
  • **********
  • Posts: 693
  • Thanked: 24 times
    • View Profile
Re: The American Dream - Comment Thread
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2012, 03:07:48 AM »
Good start, Texashawk. Too bad it died  :-\
 

 

Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51