Author Topic: John DeShane discussion  (Read 1541 times)

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Offline Erik Luken

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John DeShane discussion
« on: September 12, 2010, 03:04:26 PM »
Looks good Thor. Looks like you are on a roll there. :)
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2010, 08:51:08 PM »
Looks good Thor. Looks like you are on a roll there. :)

Yep, been trying my hand at a couple of short stories. This is one of them.  ;D



CHeers, Thor
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If you want peace, prepare for war
 

Offline martinuzz

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Re: John DeShane and the Queen of the Damned
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2010, 04:26:57 PM »
Somehow, I'm getting a distinct Indiana Jones feeling here :)

Please, do continue




*edit* moved to discussion topic.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2010, 07:22:50 PM by Erik Luken »
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane and the Queen of the Damned
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2010, 09:40:28 PM »
Somehow, I'm getting a distinct Indiana Jones feeling here :)

Please, do continue

You would be correct.  ;) I will be the first to admit I am inspired by what I read and watch in the movies.   ;D



Cheers, Thor
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
If you want peace, prepare for war
 

Offline Beersatron

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2010, 11:22:33 PM »
The first Gunny book that you sell on the site, is that paperback? 'standard' paperback size is really the only print that I aim for although I will go for the larger paperback sizes.

Don't like hardback nor ebooks - I want something I can leaf through and then have sitting on the shelf!
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2010, 08:02:14 PM »
The first Gunny book that you sell on the site, is that paperback? 'standard' paperback size is really the only print that I aim for although I will go for the larger paperback sizes.

Don't like hardback nor ebooks - I want something I can leaf through and then have sitting on the shelf!

Yes we will have perfect bound books also. They will be about the size of a trade paperback.  :)



Cheers, Thor
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
If you want peace, prepare for war
 

Offline Erik Luken

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2010, 10:41:35 PM »
I've disabled post size limit. But no one abuse it ;)

As for the story. Maybe sprinkle in some German words. Like when the witch said "Naturally", maybe change it to "Natürlich". Don't go translating whole sentences, but the occasional word or epithet might be good "Gott im Himmel!" (God in Heaven!) That type of thing. Might bring more attention to who the Germans are and who aren't.
 

Offline martinuzz

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2010, 07:25:21 AM »
Awesome update!
You portray a vivid image of the time's spirit, and the nazi mindset.
Excitement builds up, as we anticipate the the mystery and horror that awaits the undercover team.
 

Offline MattyD

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2010, 01:43:44 PM »
I've spotted a little error and fixed it.....






From Buenos Aires they caught a JU-52 to Puerto Santa Cruz, where they met up with the new SS security force, and a handful of scientists and officers returning after a month’s leave.

“You won’t believe the cold,” one of the archaeologists told John with a shiver.

“Will this thing take us far enough?” David asked with rising concern.

“Only just,” a young officer told him. “The compound is at the limit of the Junkers’ range. Once it arrives it has to refuel and take off immediately, otherwise its engines would cool down too much and freeze solid.”

A young officer lowered his checklist,  turned to him and said, "Sadly no, unless you have a tail wind of Biblical proportions your JU-52 will run out of fuel some 750km short of the Antarctican Continent. Even if you flew from the Tierra del Fuego you would all perish."

"You jest surely?"

"No, really, the JU-52 has almost no range at all. You should be using the FW200 Condor."

This came as something of a shock to David. He took a few moments to collect his thoughts as the youngster grinned at him. Slowly he said, "You know the maximum range of the JU-52?"

"Of course, we are the Luftwaffe. We are experts."

"You know the distances. . .  the geography?" Said David.

"You think we are imbeciles, we know how to read maps."

"Yet you are sending us to our deaths?"

"Of course." The officer snapped his heels together. "We are Nazi's. We know how to follow orders."

“That’s nice to know,” David said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

* * *

This is tongue in cheek - wasn't going to mention JU-52 but you referenced it directly and I couldn't help myself.

I'm really liking the implied back story of your characters - the missions and events in their pasts, nicely done, looking forward to your next segment.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2010, 03:28:41 PM by MattyD »
My Newbie AAR
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2010, 04:13:08 PM »
I've disabled post size limit. But no one abuse it ;)

As for the story. Maybe sprinkle in some German words. Like when the witch said "Naturally", maybe change it to "Natürlich". Don't go translating whole sentences, but the occasional word or epithet might be good "Gott im Himmel!" (God in Heaven!) That type of thing. Might bring more attention to who the Germans are and who aren't.

@ Erik: Yep, I do that. And I am pretty sure you can tell who the Nazis are, and who are not.  ;)

@Martinuzz: Thanks, I am really trying to capture the mindset of the Nazis. But as an American it is hard. To me the callous way they classified and cold-bloodedly executed other human beings like they did would be hard for most folks to portray. But, fortunately, I have plenty of reference material to fall back on.  ;D

@ MattyD, I like the humor, but the camp is located on the the penninsula in antarctica, that is closest to Argentina, so is in range, but just.  Although I like your suggestion of the Condor, so will change it to that bird.  ;D



Cheers, Thor   
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
If you want peace, prepare for war
 

Offline backstab

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2010, 04:59:36 PM »
Nothing like Nazi killing to start the day with !

Looking good as always Ken !
Move foward and draw fire
 

Offline martinuzz

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2010, 05:31:24 PM »
Haha. Imagining the look on the nazi's faces. Instead of discovering their 'pure Aryan ancestors', they discover aliens.
Brilliant!
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2010, 10:35:40 PM »
Nothing like Nazi killing to start the day with !

Looking good as always Ken !

Gav, I cannot think of a better way to start the day!  ;D

@ Martinuzz, wait til you see just how 'surprised' the witch really was!!  ;)



Cheers, Thor
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
If you want peace, prepare for war
 

Offline Beersatron

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2010, 04:17:21 PM »
Yes we will have perfect bound books also. They will be about the size of a trade paperback.  :)



Cheers, Thor

So which one of the two listed on http://www.shop.gunny-publications.com/ is the paperback?
 

Offline Þórgrímr

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Re: John DeShane discussion
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2010, 04:44:55 PM »
So which one of the two listed on http://www.shop.gunny-publications.com/ is the paperback?

Not up yet.  :) Still raising the capital to purchase the bookbinding equipment. So all that will be available for now is the e-book versions. Speaking of, I need to update the webshop.



Cheers, Thor
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
If you want peace, prepare for war
 

 

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