Fiction > Þórgrímr's Fiction

The Gunny Discussion

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Þórgrímr:
Any discussion please post here.  



Cheers, Thor

ShadoCat:
"“What the hell is Stasis Sleep?” The Gunny asked; his interest piqued by this intriguing subject. Anything that could reduce the number of men dying from injuries that would have been irrelevant if they could be delivered to a hospital in time had to be a good thing."

I don't know if "irrelevant" is the word you want here.  It just left out at me and took me out of the flow as I was reading.  "Insignificant" might be a better word.

Þórgrímr:

--- Quote from: "ShadoCat" ---"“What the hell is Stasis Sleep?” The Gunny asked; his interest piqued by this intriguing subject. Anything that could reduce the number of men dying from injuries that would have been irrelevant if they could be delivered to a hospital in time had to be a good thing."

I don't know if "irrelevant" is the word you want here.  It just left out at me and took me out of the flow as I was reading.  "Insignificant" might be a better word.
--- End quote ---

Good catch. I think unimportant may be the correct one. Since the point I was trying to convey was that life threatening injuries would become not as much of a threat, so I think unimportant may be the one. I will try that one. Let me know if it still breaks the flow, and if so I will try insignificant.  :D



Cheers, Thor

ShadoCat:

--- Quote from: "Þórgrímr" ---EDIT: ShadoCat, you were correct. Insignificant is the best word to use. I tried unimportant and it just did not 'feel' right. Thanks for the heads up bud!  :D
--- End quote ---

Glad to help.

ZimRathbone:
"When he finished his search he had an ephinay and wondered if any of the computers in the command bunker were working."

Do you mean "epiphany"  ie an illuminating discovery or realisation, or the Coming of the Magi?

Unless of course this is another of the words like "color" or "labor"  that seperate American English from the Queens English?

I would be tempted to use a much simpler word like "idea" or "thought", especially given the situation that the Gunny is in at the moment - its a matter of personal taste but for me "epiphany" has flavours of contemplation, reflection & working at a problem over time, and is usually more to do with an understanding of how the world works, or of ones own personal nature rather than the sort of immediate lightbulb incident you are describing - I don't think its quite appropiate for where the story is at this time.

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