Author Topic: Comment section  (Read 5256 times)

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Offline ardem (OP)

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Comment section
« on: October 18, 2010, 04:47:26 AM »
Placeholder for people comments
 

Offline MattyD

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2010, 11:56:23 AM »
Thought I would drop a line to offer some encouragement...

Wasn't sure about the format to begin with but its flowing nice now and its giving your game some character, rather than a dry repetition of facts.

It will be interesting how you describe military intervention outside Sol, I feel your narrator may be forced to enlist to discover the real truth that lies out there.

Keep up the good work.
My Newbie AAR
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2010, 05:54:15 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement, the format is a bit different and the first time I have tried this style, I wasn't sure if it was working or not in regards to flow.

Any thoughts or suggestions are always welcome, creative writing is not my strong point, but the more you practice the better you become, so  they say.

I have noticed my style is changing slightly, in each creation, but then so is the character, so if there is one style of post that works better then the rest please let me know.

Also I am making a few mistakes in this game already, but I guess this creates the freshness of a race enter space for the first time.

Thanks again I appreciate any encouragement and thoughts
 

Offline backstab

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2010, 01:23:36 AM »
I'll offer my encouragement as well ... looking good so far and I look foward to more.
Move foward and draw fire
 

Offline MattyD

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2010, 05:19:03 PM »
Its interesting how the game directs the narrative process.

If you had complete control over events you would have a protagonist - the only choice would be Galen Weatherford - and he would be confronted with tortures that would cause him to question everything around him and gradually come to a greater and more refined understanding of the world around him.

Working within the confines of the game takes you in different directions - The Sorium Crisis for instance - this is great stuff, us readers can all imagine how this would affect us in terms of gameplay - why not take us into the heart of the matter - a leaked report from a shipyard worker worrying that he will not be in work long enough to pay for his children's education. Something personal a human face to the situtation.

Also, you could make things a little tense for our narrator - given the recent crisis within the Communications industry - perhaps things might get a little difficult for our valiant reporter - all in the name of narrative tension of course.

Til you fade....
My Newbie AAR
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2010, 06:01:21 PM »
hahaha get out of my mind, things are about to get tense for our narrator.

But I take your points on more personal stories, I am sure this is something that I hope to include in future events.

I have in this two story lines happening, the story line that evolves from the game, and the story line of the narrator or narrators (smile) which I have sketch out in my mind, but also dependent on events.

It is a very interesting way to write


 

Offline procyon

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2010, 05:03:19 AM »
Neat story so far. I like it.  Very different writing style from most AAR's.

Sometimes I get a little confused as to the viewpoint, but I think that has more to do with me reading it at the end of a 12 hour overnight shift.  Everything kind of gets fuzzy at 0600, and I don't always have the time to sort it out.

Keep it up.  Looks like an interesting story is about to get very interesting.
... and I will show you fear in a handful of dust ...
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2010, 06:11:28 AM »
Thanks

There are times when I got to recheck my viewpoints as well, it very easy to slip back into differing styles when you write on different days.

No means at this stage, do I feel I am a good or even decent writer, but practice I hope will make perfect <smile>.
 

Offline IanD

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2010, 02:39:50 AM »
I like the format. Any chance of a star map? Would make it far easier to visualise were the action is taking place!

Regards
IanD
 

Offline welchbloke

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2010, 07:21:34 AM »
I like the format. Any chance of a star map? Would make it far easier to visualise were the action is taking place!

Regards

Seconded  ;D
Welchbloke
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2010, 10:15:54 PM »
Sure I will get one up tonight my time
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2010, 06:01:51 AM »
Map is in the Earth Union Pedia Section
 

Offline IanD

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2010, 08:30:44 AM »
Thanks for the map. See you’ve gone for the mobile base concept, but I see your fighters only have a 150 million kilometre radius of action, that’s not very far with an Invader dreadnought charging down on you at 10,000 k/s! ;D

Regards
IanD
 

Offline ardem (OP)

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2010, 11:09:14 PM »
Since I am a few years ahead in my game compared to my writing I have now found this out hehehe, in not a good way.

Actually in a very similar way to what you said. Stay tuned. hehhe remember I am a newbie to the game so I am learning the pitfalls of design with some hard lessons.
 

Offline Darth Pedro

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Re: Comment section
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2011, 10:28:18 PM »
I am new to the forum and the game.   For the last two weeks or so I have been reading the fiction and studying the WIKI as well as piddling with Aurora.

This particular fiction seems to be unique among the many I have read so far.   I await the continuing saga.

Very good!
Darth Pedro - Emperor of Space