Post by: Þórgrímr on September 22, 2009, 02:18:26 PM
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on September 26, 2009, 01:39:45 PM
“Arminius: From the surface, we could not see any stars out the window; but out my overhead hatch, I’m looking at Roma Mater. It’s big and bright and beautiful. Decius is going to give a try at seeing some stars through the optics.”
“Roger, Martius. We understand. Must be a beautiful sight. Over.”
I thought that the base that they landed 4 miles away from was on the far side.
They should not have their planet in sight from the surface.
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 26, 2009, 06:59:17 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
In the landing on their moon:
“Arminius: From the surface, we could not see any stars out the window; but out my overhead hatch, I’m looking at Roma Mater. It’s big and bright and beautiful. Decius is going to give a try at seeing some stars through the optics.”
“Roger, Martius. We understand. Must be a beautiful sight. Over.”
I thought that the base that they landed 4 miles away from was on the far side.
They should not have their planet in sight from the surface.
You are absolutely correct my friend. Good spot and I will change ASAP!
Thanks bud!
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 26, 2009, 07:07:19 PM
“Arminius: From the surface, we could not see any stars out the window due to the mountains; but out my overhead hatch, I’m looking at the Girdle of Iuppiter (Milky Way). It’s brilliant and beautiful. Decius is going to give a try at spotting some of the constellations through the optics.”
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on September 27, 2009, 11:19:04 AM
Your version keeps the Apollo feel better.
Post by: Beersatron on September 27, 2009, 02:06:52 PM
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 28, 2009, 01:21:43 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
Good rewrite. It works better than what I came up with. I was thinking some version of: too bad we can't see Earth from here.
Your version keeps the Apollo feel better.
Thanks my friend. And this is why a writer needs comment, so he can improve his writing and correct mistakes he may have missed. :wink:
Cheers, Thor
Post by: welchbloke on September 28, 2009, 08:02:55 PM
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 28, 2009, 08:20:31 PM
Quote from: "welchbloke"
Thoroughly enjoying the revamped story - keep it coming.
Glad you are enjoying it my friend. I will be posting one part per day during the weekdays, and take a break on the weekends till I catch up to what I already have done. Then the posting will be a wee bit sporadic as it will have to be written.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Haegan2005 on September 28, 2009, 08:56:22 PM
While the book starts with a form of flash back, it quickly jumps forward about 800 years and we get to see it get really hairy really fast. He has managed to maintain good character and reader tension and has me looking forward eagerly to the next installment.
Post by: James Patten on September 29, 2009, 06:22:06 AM
Post by: ShadoCat on September 29, 2009, 12:04:48 PM
It took me a while to remember the PA from the old version.
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 29, 2009, 01:15:30 PM
Quote from: "James Patten"
I realize it was probably kept so that our modern day audiences would understand, but the thought of a Roman saying "Roger" as acknowledgment doesn't feel right.
James, you are correct. It does sound odd. I will come up with something else to replace it. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 29, 2009, 10:02:19 PM
The Tech research project:
Internal Fission Drive: Solid Core
Tech Level Requirement Engineering 8.5, Physics/Mathematics 8.3
R&D Requirement Nuclear Power, 15 Star Yard Slipways, Microchips
Successes Required 6
The various Internal Fission Drive designs and the external pulse drives are the real workhorses of the TL 8 and 9 powers, assuming a good supply of their rare fuel can be obtained. Fissile isotopes are very rare in Population 2 stars, but fairly common in Population 1. In very young or very active star-forming regions, many usable isotopes may be common, but in most star systems, only three isotopes are available, U235, U238, and Th232. Hydrogen or ammonia is the most commonly used reaction mass with these drives. The performance envelope for these drives is very broad, and almost completely determined by the sophistication of the internal shielding available. The lowest performance drives use centrifugally contained solid cores, and need relatively little internal shielding as they are quite cool. The Solid Internal fission drive has an impulse rating of 800 seconds. A thrust to weight ratio of 10 to 1, and a total delta-v of 12.4 m/sec. Completion of this project allows the Power to design and build space vehicles using the Reaction Drive (Internal Fission: Solid Core) as a means of propulsion.
The Drive description in the Naval Construction Doc:
System Drive Reaction: Internal Fission Solid Core (Eng 850/Phys 830) Speed: 12.4 m/sec
+3% addition to speed in space for multiple drive levels
Increases initiative bonus when using flank speed
Requires fuel upkeep
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Cunak on September 30, 2009, 05:49:23 AM
I sure do appreciate your efforts in providing stories for the rest of us hungry masses.
Please keep up the excellent work.
Post by: Þórgrímr on September 30, 2009, 01:48:38 PM
Quote from: "Cunak"
Wow!
I sure do appreciate your efforts in providing stories for the rest of us hungry masses.
Please keep up the excellent work.
I am glad to know you are enjoying the story so far. As an indicator as to what is next, the flashback is over and we jump forward nearly eight centuries to the United States of Terra.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Beersatron on October 01, 2009, 06:36:06 PM
- how long has Earth been in space?
- which stories are for the period of WW3, aftermath and up to Chapter 2?
- will you be rewriting them too?
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 01, 2009, 08:08:18 PM
Quote from: "Beersatron"
Got a couple of questions on Chapter 2,
- how long has Earth been in space?
- which stories are for the period of WW3, aftermath and up to Chapter 2?
- will you be rewriting them too?
Earth has been in space for little over a decade.
The era after the third world war is covered by the Gunny saga. Which goes up to the unification of Earth and the death of the Gunny. I am going to post some of those in the main Thor writing sfor since it does not fit in with the later Terrans and Romans. In fact, the first part will be posted tonight. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: welchbloke on October 02, 2009, 09:48:26 PM
Quote from: "borgrimr"
Vickers was sitting in one corner nursing a Wild Turkey and listening to Applegate opine. “Sir, I accept as most do that this operation is getting too large to hide anymore. Plus, we’re at the point where we can make a case to the people that we can adequately defend Earth. On the flip side, it’s like that Greek myth, the Sword of Domiciles, hanging over our head.”It's the 'Sword of Damocles' unless you were trying to portray that knowledge has been lost in your post apocalyptic world. On that note, I'm afraid that I find your post-apocalyptic world not particularly apocalyptic. I think my basic concern is that you have recreated the situation of today (albeit with a United States of Terra and without the Chinese) but advanced the timeline by 500yr or so. I've only read your re-issue of the first part of the Gunny saga but I cannot see how(or why) a society reduced so far would want to recreate the institutions of the past. Now if there is a good reason for this in the later parts of the Gunny saga then please let me know and I'll reserve my remarks until I've read the rest. I think the Roman aspect of the story is great. Just my 2penny worth.
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 02, 2009, 10:41:09 PM
Quote from: "welchbloke"
It's the 'Sword of Damocles' unless you were trying to portray that knowledge has been lost in your post apocalyptic world. On that note, I'm afraid that I find your post-apocalyptic world not particularly apocalyptic. I think my basic concern is that you have recreated the situation of today (albeit with a United States of Terra and without the Chinese) but advanced the timeline by 500yr or so. I've only read your re-issue of the first part of the Gunny saga but I cannot see how(or why) a society reduced so far would want to recreate the institutions of the past. Now if there is a good reason for this in the later parts of the Gunny saga then please let me know and I'll reserve my remarks until I've read the rest. I think the Roman aspect of the story is great. Just my 2penny worth.
Well first of all, Vickers was making a joke. :wink:
The person who finally united Earth was from the 21st century and he vowed to recreate the world he knew, with certain changes of course, before it blew itself to hell and back. After nearly three centuries of death, destruction, terrors of the night, and no hope the world was looking for someone who would give them peace and remove those terrors of the night. When he did he recreated the world he knew, but with changes. It is not our world recreated per se, hell, New DC is not even in North America, but in Africa. :wink: Your input is valued, so please even if we do not agree on certain points, continue to provide your insights and keep me on my toes.
All commentary, both for and against is valued by me.Cheers, Thor
Post by: Beersatron on October 04, 2009, 12:32:08 PM
"O’Cearnaigh had recently taken him to task on Discuss the Issues over the subject."
Also a question on the timeline. In the first part of Chapter 2 you have the launch of a Heavy Cruiser and it talks about an interstellar war with fighting on distant worlds. But then 4 days later you have the Nuncio just being told about contact with the first aliens.
Does this mean that the UST has been secretly building warships and sending them off to fight without the general populace knowing? And also sending scientific teams and ground troops to fight too?
Post by: Beersatron on October 04, 2009, 01:13:36 PM
"At the moment, he saw multiple pratfalls."
"It was almost as close to declaring war the as government went without calling the Senate into session."
Who are the 'Mortao Alliance'? An interstellar power? Are they hitting the UST interstellar commerce with their raiding?
The reason I am asking is that a little over a decade doesn't seem like long enough to have been able to produce the infrastructure and then the actual ships from scratch to get to a point were commerce raiding on an interstellar level is a problem. Not sure I am explaining myself correctly, gah.
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 05, 2009, 12:51:10 AM
Quote from: "Beersatron"
Possible typo:
"O’Cearnaigh had recently taken him to task on Discuss the Issues over the subject."
Also a question on the timeline. In the first part of Chapter 2 you have the launch of a Heavy Cruiser and it talks about an interstellar war with fighting on distant worlds. But then 4 days later you have the Nuncio just being told about contact with the first aliens.
Does this mean that the UST has been secretly building warships and sending them off to fight without the general populace knowing? And also sending scientific teams and ground troops to fight too?
Discuss the Issues is a TV show like Meet the Press so should be capped.
Yes, they have been sending stuff out covertly.
Good catch, it should be pitfalls.
Yup, another typo. Good catch and thanks. :wink:
Sure, I understand where you are coming from. And no, Terra does not have any shipping as of now. It is their allies and potential allies that are being raided. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: IanD on October 07, 2009, 07:36:56 AM
In your latest "Test of Wills" post British may sit better than English.
Regards
Post by: ShadoCat on October 07, 2009, 02:02:17 PM
I think that you meant to add that they are now the finest soldiers in the galaxy/universe.
BTW, I live in I live in south Orange County, California. There were two Marine bases here (Tustin and El Toro) and there is still Camp Pendelton not too far away. I know a number of people who would wish to discuss that issue with you. <grin>
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 07, 2009, 02:21:07 PM
Quote from: "IanD"
Þórgrímr
In your latest "Test of Wills" post British may sit better than English.
Regards
It would be, but the United Kingdom does not exist anymore. When the British Isles were added to the UST Wales, Scotland, and Ireland voted in plebiscites to form their own states. So England is a state by itself. :wink: And my being a Marine I was tempted to list Force Recon and Recon units as the best. But I had to keep the POV correct. :D
IIRC, El Toro was closed down in the base realignments and the squadrons transferred to Miramar. You sure El Toro is still open?
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on October 07, 2009, 05:14:17 PM
Post by: ShadoCat on October 07, 2009, 05:21:48 PM
Quote from: "Þórgrímr"
IIRC, El Toro was closed down in the base realignments and the squadrons transferred to Miramar. You sure El Toro is still open? :?
Both Tustin and El Toro were shut down but their former presence and the continued existence of Camp Pendelton down south has lead to a pretty high population of retired Marines around here. It might also have something to do with the type of people I hang out with.
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 07, 2009, 05:54:16 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
Your universe have star gates on planetary surfaces too?
No, just the jump gates in space. You need a form of space/planet interface to travel from one to the other.
When I got back from the Rock in 82 El Toro was my duty station of choice. But in their infinite 'wisdom' they sent me to Cherry Point.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Beersatron on October 07, 2009, 06:18:12 PM
Quote
but enjoyed the his time at the JGC
Quote
The look of concern on his face was evident. “JGC, this Echo Echo Three Zero, are you receiving?”
winsauce:
Quote
A naval officer answered. “Intelligence desk, Lieutenant Commander Jack Ryan.”
:)
Post by: ShadoCat on October 07, 2009, 06:35:21 PM
Quote from: "Þórgrímr"
Quote from: "ShadoCat"Your universe have star gates on planetary surfaces too?
No, just the jump gates in space. You need a form of space/planet interface to travel from one to the other.
When I got back from the Rock in 82 El Toro was my duty station of choice. But in their infinite 'wisdom' they sent me to Cherry Point. :shock:
You would have liked El Toro. Though I don't think we would have met. I was still in high school at the time.Though, if you stuck around for a few years and went to a certain Babylon 5 convention (AgamemCon) we would have met.
-- Jeff Miller, Program Director for AgamemCon 1-5
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 07, 2009, 06:51:26 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
You would have liked El Toro. Though I don't think we would have met. I was still in high school at the time.Though, if you stuck around for a few years and went to a certain Babylon 5 convention (AgamemCon) we would have met.
-- Jeff Miller, Program Director for AgamemCon 1-5
I know. Thats why I wanted El Toro. I have family all over the area along with being born in Pomona. To me El Toro was in my home town area. And one reason I was pissed they sent me to swamp city USA in NC.
Only cons I have ever made was Gen Con a couple of times, oh and a few Gamex's in Pasadena and at the LA Hilton.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 07, 2009, 07:09:08 PM
Quote from: "Beersatron"
typos:Quotebut enjoyed the his time at the JGCQuoteThe look of concern on his face was evident. “JGC, this Echo Echo Three Zero, are you receiving?”
winsauce:QuoteA naval officer answered. “Intelligence desk, Lieutenant Commander Jack Ryan.”
:wink:
EDIT: Typo bugs squished.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: James Patten on October 09, 2009, 07:13:44 AM
Remember we "pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd". The r's we drop the Texans pick up. Listen to speeches of the Kennedys if you want something close to it. The further Downeast you (down the coast to the east, toward New Brunswick) the heavier the accent gets.
James (from Maine :D )
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 09, 2009, 01:57:43 PM
Quote from: "James Patten"
Colonel Lloyd Tippet from Bangor Maine doesn't have the right accent, unless accents have completely changed in 500 years and after a new Dark Ages (entirely possible).
Remember we "pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd". The r's we drop the Texans pick up. Listen to speeches of the Kennedys if you want something close to it. The further Downeast you (down the coast to the east, toward New Brunswick) the heavier the accent gets.
James (from Maine :D
EDIT: Not too sure how thick the accent should be. he is a 30 year vet and having traveled most of the world I think a lot of the heavy accent would have given way to standard pronunciation. But instead would be more subtle. Let me know if this is ok, or if I have screwed it up.
As Tippett spoke, there was an unrestrained aura of anger. “Thank you sah. Earliah today we received a classified report from our contact at CENTCOM. Last evening a raid was conducted by the 101st in Bandah Abbas to flush out a rebel group responsible for a series of abductions and murdahs. The raid was successful. The real news is what was found in the aftahmath. One of the rebel KIAs was an Atheri warriah. We currahtly have no information on what his purpose was, how he got into Persia or whethah he was alone.”
Cheers, Thor
Post by: James Patten on October 09, 2009, 06:05:35 PM
Obviously you can't drop all the r's without the language becoming unintelligible.
If you're really going for the proper feel, backwoods and coastal Mainers answer in the affirmative with "ayuh" instead of "yes". Properly said by inhaling when you say it. But I can't see him saying it during a formal report.
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 09, 2009, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: "James Patten"
When I saw it in writing it doesn't look very good, but it does read OK if you're expecting it.
Obviously you can't drop all the r's without the language becoming unintelligible.
If you're really going for the proper feel, backwoods and coastal Mainers answer in the affirmative with "ayuh" instead of "yes". Properly said by inhaling when you say it. But I can't see him saying it during a formal report.
I suppose I could put in a reference to his nasal New England accent being a bit thicker due to his anger.
EDIT: Latest change; As Tippett spoke his nasal New England accent was more prominent than usual, due in all likelyhood to his unrestrained anger. “Thank you sah. Earliah today we received a classified report from our contact at CENTCOM. Last evening a raid was conducted by the 101st in Bandah Abbas to flush out a rebel group responsible for a series of abductions and murdahs. The raid was successful. The real news is what was found in the aftermath. One of the rebel KIAs was an Atheri warriah. We currently have no information on what his purpose was, how he got into Persia or whethah he was alone.”
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Beersatron on October 09, 2009, 09:20:21 PM
Quote
Senator Robert Cullen, a Tory from England, was a former Attorney for London and a devout Protestant.
Maybe it should be 'Attorney from London' ?
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 09, 2009, 09:37:24 PM
Quote from: "Beersatron"
Not sure this sounds right:QuoteSenator Robert Cullen, a Tory from England, was a former Attorney for London and a devout Protestant.
Maybe it should be 'Attorney from London' ?
Yep, thats a typo. Good catch!
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 21, 2009, 11:51:35 PM
This test will be a simple game. The test will start January 1830, and is scheduled to run until 1918. This test will allow us to test the Diplomatic, Espionage, Supply, and a whole host of other rules. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: mavikfelna on October 29, 2009, 02:08:54 PM
--Mav
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 29, 2009, 02:51:26 PM
Quote from: "mavikfelna"
So, what would I need to do to create Finland for the BTS! playtest?
--Mav
Right now Finland is part of the Russian Empire. If you wish to play another one just let me know which one and I will set up the initial stats and sheets for you. Below are the Powers available for play,:
United States of America
United Kingdom of Great Britian - Thor
Kingdom of Austria
Kingdom of France
Kingdom of Holland
Shogunate of Nippon
Kingdom of Prussia - Backstab
Kingdom of Portugal
Kingdom of Russia
Kingdom of Sardinia-Piedmont - Haegan 2005
Kingdom of Spain
Ottoman Empire
Kingdom of Anhalt
Kingdom of Baden
Kingdom of Bavaria
Kingdom of Braunschweig
Kingdom of Bremen
Kingdom of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
Kingdom of Denmark
Kingdom of Frankfurt
Kingdom of Greece
Kingdom of Hamburg
Kingdom of Hanover
Kingdom of Hesse-Darmstadt
Kingdom of Hesse-Kassel
Kingdom of Holstein
Kingdom of Lippe
Kingdom of Lubeck
Kingdom of Mecklenburg
Kingdom of Meiningen
Empire of Mexico
Kingdom of Nassau
Kingdom of Oldenburg
Papal States
Duchy of Lucca
Duchy of Modena
Duchy of Parma
Kingdom of Saxony
Kingdom of Schleswig
Kingdom of Serbia
Kingdom of the Two Sicilies
Kingdom of Sweden
Republic of Switzerland
Kingdom of Tuscany
United States of Central America
Kingdom of Weimar
Kingdom of Württemburg
Sultanate of Abu-Dhabi
Sultanate of Afghanistan
Sultanate of Algiers
Kingdom of Annam
Argentina
Kingdom of Armenia
Kingdom of Asante
Sultanate of Atjeh
Raj of Awadh
Kingdom of Bali
Raj of Bastar
Raj of Beroda
Raj of Bhutan
Bolivia
Sultanate of Borno
Empire of Brazil
Sultanate of Brunei
Kingdom of Buganda
Sultanate of Bukhara
Kingdom of Burma
Kingdom of Cambodia
Republic of Chile
Empire of China
Republic of Columbia
Republic of Ecuador
Sultanate of Egypt
Kingdom of Ethiopia
Kingdom of Georgia
Raj of Gwailor
Sultanate of Ha'il
Kingdom of Haiti
Kingdom of Hawaii
Raj of Hyderabad
Raj of Jaipur
Sultanate of Kalat
Khanate of Khiva
Khanate of Kokand
Kingdom of Korea
Republic of Liberia
Kingdom of Lozi
Kingdom of Luang-Prabang
Sultanate of Johore
Sultanate of Malinke
Sultanate of Masina
Kingdom of Merina
Sultanate of Morocco
Raj of Mysore
Raj of Nagpur
Kingdom of Nama
Republic of Natal
Sultanate of Nejd
Kingdom of Nepal
Kingdom of Nyamweze
Sultanate of Oman
Republic of Oranje
Raj of Panjab
Paraguay
Shahdom of Persia
Kingdom of Bemba
Kingdom of Shona
Kingdom of Siam
Raj of Sikkim
Emirate of Sind
Sultanate of Sokoto
Kingdom of Sotho
Sultanate of the Sudan
Kingdom of Tibet
Republic of the Transvaal
Raj of Travancore
Sultanate of Tukulor
Sultanate of Tunis
Uruguay
Republic of Venezuela
Kingdom of Xhosa
Kingdom of Yeke
Emirate of Aden
Kingdom of the Zulu
Post by: mavikfelna on October 30, 2009, 11:30:46 AM
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 30, 2009, 01:22:35 PM
Quote from: "mavikfelna"
Sweden might be interesting. So what would I need to do?
If Sweden is the one you wish to play then I will go ahead and set up the initial regions, indusrty, population and the other various sundries for them. Do you have an MSN chat program? If so, email me here, just remove the words for the keystroke. ThorgrimmATcomcastDOTnet. And I will provide you with my MSN contact. Tonight Haegan, Backstab and myself are going to have a meeting. So that would be the best time to jump in.
And if not, PM me with your email and I will send you the simple game rules that we are using. To read while I set Sweden up for you.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Haegan2005 on October 30, 2009, 01:34:00 PM
Quote from: "mavikfelna"
Sweden might be interesting. So what would I need to do?
Post by: ShadoCat on October 31, 2009, 04:13:30 PM
If I had the time, I'd love to help play test it. <sigh>
My preference would be to play Romania (Europe's welcome mat).
Post by: Þórgrímr on October 31, 2009, 05:27:16 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
Hey Thor,
If I had the time, I'd love to help play test it. <sigh>
My preference would be to play Romania (Europe's welcome mat).
Lol, well, thats the beauty of a play by email games, you choose when you process your orders. So if you had the time you would have to choose. Since in 1830 there weren't no such critter as Romania. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on November 05, 2009, 01:13:17 AM
Quote from: "Þórgrímr"
Quote from: "ShadoCat"Hey Thor,
If I had the time, I'd love to help play test it. <sigh>
My preference would be to play Romania (Europe's welcome mat).
Lol, well, thats the beauty of a play by email games, you choose when you process your orders. So if you had the time you would have to choose. Since in 1830 there weren't no such critter as Romania. :wink: You would have to choose either Wallachia or Moldavia. Both are independent, but are protectorates of the Ottoman Empire. :D
It would have to be Wallachia (though Ottoman would have more chance of being significant). I'll think about it and see if I can budget the time to be able to be more than a hit and run player.
Post by: Þórgrímr on November 05, 2009, 08:09:21 AM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
It would have to be Wallachia (though Ottoman would have more chance of being significant). I'll think about it and see if I can budget the time to be able to be more than a hit and run player.
Good choice.
If you do decide to help, just let me know and I will set up Wallachia for you. Cheers, Thor
Post by: Aldaris on February 21, 2010, 05:05:19 AM
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 21, 2010, 06:40:00 PM
Quote from: "Aldaris"
Sorry if I'm not supposed to post here, but I really enjoyed the Roman fic so far and would like to see more, is there any chance of getting that?
You are quite welcome to post here my friend. 8)
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Beersatron on February 21, 2010, 11:24:18 PM
Quote from: "Þórgrímr"
Quote from: "Aldaris"Sorry if I'm not supposed to post here, but I really enjoyed the Roman fic so far and would like to see more, is there any chance of getting that?
You are quite welcome to post here my friend. 8)
Cheers, Thor
He is alive!
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 22, 2010, 10:33:36 AM
Quote from: "Beersatron"
He is alive! :D But I gotta tell ya, I was not sure for how long a few times! :D So stay tuned.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Aldaris on February 22, 2010, 11:19:11 AM
One nitpick is that you never place a , in front of names at the end of a sentence, but I'm no native speaker so I'm not sure if that's needed.
Other than that I couldn't see anything wrong with this, although I would like more explanation on the various alien factions.
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 22, 2010, 11:27:40 AM
Quote from: "Aldaris"
Looking back on your older posts you said you wanted as many comments as possible, so I'll have a go at it.
One nitpick is that you never place a , in front of names at the end of a sentence, but I'm no native speaker so I'm not sure if that's needed.
Other than that I couldn't see anything wrong with this, although I would like more explanation on the various alien factions.
The comma in front of proper names at the end of a sentence isn't required in the American version of English. Not sure how the Brits or other English speakers do it.
As for alien faction information, good request. Give me some time to write the information up and I will post it. Keep the commentary coming. It can only help me make my stories better.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Aldaris on February 22, 2010, 11:32:41 AM
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 22, 2010, 01:38:00 PM
Quote from: "Aldaris"
I will gladly help fleshing out any alien factions (Or the stuff surrounding them, like history) you still need ideas for.
The skeleton ideas for the main races are pretty much set. But I will need a whole lot of minor powers. :D
But as a quick post I am gonna post a teaser for the Graalthak.
It will be posted in the BTS! fora.I suppose I should mention all of my stories are based in the same universe.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on February 22, 2010, 02:37:54 PM
I was a bit worried.
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 22, 2010, 03:39:46 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
Welcome back Thor.
I was a bit worried.
Thanks bud. And for a while there it was touch and go. At times I had to use a machine and medicated oxygen to breathe. Still gotta use it every now and then.
Let me tell you, it ain't fun feeling like a fish out of water and fighting for every breath you take.Cheers, Thor
Post by: Aldaris on February 23, 2010, 01:15:28 PM
There's a few minor spelling errors here and there, and I haven't gotten the faintest idea whether the Latin is correct, but beyond that everything seems good. You might want to keep the 'surprise' phase going a bit longer, though. Both of these groups are meeting other humans, and the Romans are meeting humans they weren't expecting who know their language. While I can understand a soldier would cut to the point and leave the details to the eggheads, the change from 'wtf' to 'smile' seems unreasonably fast.
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 23, 2010, 02:04:23 PM
Quote from: "Aldaris"
YAY! Romans! \o/
There's a few minor spelling errors here and there, and I haven't gotten the faintest idea whether the Latin is correct, but beyond that everything seems good. You might want to keep the 'surprise' phase going a bit longer, though. Both of these groups are meeting other humans, and the Romans are meeting humans they weren't expecting who know their language. While I can understand a soldier would cut to the point and leave the details to the eggheads, the change from 'wtf' to 'smile' seems unreasonably fast.
Don't worry, the first contact is far from over. Trust me. :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: ShadoCat on February 23, 2010, 04:12:51 PM
Quote from: "Þórgrímr"
Quote from: "ShadoCat"Welcome back Thor.
I was a bit worried.
Thanks bud. And for a while there it was touch and go. At times I had to use a machine and medicated oxygen to breathe. Still gotta use it every now and then.
I've had an asthma attack or two so I have the barest inkling of that that must be like.
I hope that working on this will help keep your brain active.
BTW, a PM is on the way.
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 23, 2010, 04:53:53 PM
Quote from: "ShadoCat"
I've had an asthma attack or two so I have the barest inkling of that that must be like.
I hope that working on this will help keep your brain active.
BTW, a PM is on the way.
Talking with Haegan and working on BTS! and my stories are a large part of what keeps me going.
I shall be awaiting on the PM.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: welchbloke on February 24, 2010, 06:08:15 AM
One very minor point. If you are using the current SAS as a model then there would be no Royal Marines in it. The RM have their own Special Forces in the form of the Special Boat Section (SBS). LIke I said a minor point. I do enjoy your Roman stories
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 24, 2010, 01:18:50 PM
Quote from: "welchbloke"
A hearty welcome back from me as well Thor.
One very minor point. If you are using the current SAS as a model then there would be no Royal Marines in it. The RM have their own Special Forces in the form of the Special Boat Section (SBS). LIke I said a minor point. I do enjoy your Roman stories :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Sotak246 on February 25, 2010, 03:27:54 PM
Mark
Post by: Aldaris on February 25, 2010, 03:36:07 PM
Quote from: "Sotak246"
Just letting you know I can't wait for more. You have really sucked me into the story, left me banging my head on my desk wanting more with your ending today(25th). Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing with us.What he said, minus the headdesk.
Mark
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 25, 2010, 03:55:18 PM
Quote from: "Sotak246"
Just letting you know I can't wait for more. You have really sucked me into the story, left me banging my head on my desk wanting more with your ending today(25th). Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing with us.
Mark
Thanks for the compliment my friend. I warms my heart to see folks are enjoying the story. I hope you do not get a nasty welt from the headbanging! :D
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Sotak246 on February 26, 2010, 06:51:51 AM
Mark
Post by: Þórgrímr on February 26, 2010, 01:28:53 PM
Quote from: "Sotak246"
Yay, no more banging my head on the desk. Luckly, I have a padded wrist support on my mouse pad and have been hitting that, so no bumps or serious trauma. LOL
Mark
I just posted your daily 'hit'. Let's hope it satisfies those darned withdrawl symptoms.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Haegan2005 on February 27, 2010, 04:37:35 PM
Post by: Þórgrímr on March 03, 2010, 11:53:33 AM
But, I do have a way for you to contiue reading this story, and helping me improve my stories at the same time. You can become a beta reader for Gunny Pubs. :wink:
What I am also in the process of doing is creating three chapter previews for the other books in the pipeline. But remember these will be works in progress so are subject to change.
So if you are interested in becoming a beta reader head on over to the Gunny Pubs foras and register.
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on March 03, 2010, 02:20:25 PM
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on March 24, 2010, 10:02:33 AM
Terran Starships (http://www.gunny-publications.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
Cheers, Thor
Post by: Þórgrímr on March 25, 2010, 09:06:55 AM
Cheers, Thor