Aurora 4x
C# Aurora => General Discussion => Topic started by: Steve Walmsley on February 07, 2024, 06:20:09 AM
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Due to some significant changes in my life, I think it is worth explaining what is happening and how that is likely to affect Aurora in 2024. I hope it might also inform others facing similar circumstances.
I suffered severe problems with my back and my left arm from the beginning of 2023. Due to deterioration of the intervertebral discs in my neck, my vertebrae are compressing in a couple of places and pressing on the nerve roots, causing a lot of pain in my back and down my arm and resulting in muscle weakness. Weirdly, I could lift, but not pull or push with my left arm. After various consultants, spinal MRI scans, etc., I was scheduled for an operation in September 2023 to remove part of a vertebrae in order to relieve that pressure, albeit with a small percentage chance of making things considerably worse.
At the start of August 2023, I was made redundant. Maybe not the best timing, but leaving had an unexpected positive side effect. Immediately following my departure, my wife and I spent a month travelling in our motorhome. By the end of that month, the pain had almost entirely disappeared and I had regained most of the strength in my left arm. After speaking to my spinal surgeon, he advised that I must have been severely stressed at work (even though I didn't realise) and that was causing inflammation in my back, which made the physical problem a lot worse.
I'd also made a lot of changes in my working environment in the meantime, such as getting a better chair, making sure the monitor was the right height and working in the centre of the screen, not the left, so my head wasn't always turned. Given the pain was now minimal, we decided to postpone the surgery. That seems to have been a good decision, because I can go weeks with only minimal pain medication. Even when it comes back, I can usually track it to a source of stress - dealing with the call centre for the bank for example :) - or unusual physical activity, like helping my daughter move house.
I did look for other work, albeit without any great enthusiasm to go back to a similar type of job, but before Xmas my wife and I decided to do something else entirely, and we have been getting ready since then. From mid-March 2024, we are going to be living in our motorhome full time for at least a year, with the intention to travel around the UK and over to Europe, mainly wandering around quaint villages or sitting at the side of lakes with good food and wine. It's a much healthier, cheaper and fun lifestyle, with far less stress. All our furniture is going into storage and we are currently selling the wide variety of items that we haul around from house to house but never actually use :)
All of this has been very good for Aurora in recent months, as I have been able to spend a lot of time on recent versions. From mid-March, that may change. I will have a laptop and plenty of free time, but part of the reason for the trip is exploring and spending a lot more time outdoors. In terms of work, we are good for a while anyway due to savings, but I'll be looking to do something new. I won't be trying to monetise Aurora - as that will remain a hobby. Perhaps I'll look for some short-term programming work (if anyone needs a part-time, remote-working developer, let me know :) ), or maybe I will finally get around to writing a book. We've discussed creating a travel blog and trying to make a small income from that, as my wife is already a known blogger in the crafting world and we both love to travel. Whatever we do, we are in no rush and our objective is to have a lifestyle we enjoy, rather than trying to maximise our income.
I've learned in the last few months that stress causes very significant physical symptoms; it isn't just 'in your head'. So I hope if anyone else is suffering on-going physical symptoms such as back/limb pain or muscle weakness (but also headaches, tiredness, etc.), they will consider if it might be stress-related, rather than having a purely physiological cause, and take appropriate steps to address it.
I'll update in this thread when we finally get on the road and post a link to our blog if we get around to creating it. In the meantime, I will try to get one more Aurora release out before we leave, mainly to address any outstanding bugs.
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"Hi doc, I've got some back pain and nerve issues, wat do?"
"The only solution is risky and expensive surgery!"
"Hello again doc, turns out I was just sitting wrong and very stressed from work. I'm mostly OK now. Why didn't you think of any of that?"
Modern medicine! Why investigate a possible lifestyle issue that could easily be solved when you could recommend pills and surgery? I have heard this story more times than I can remember from family and friends all over the world going back to before I was born. Makes me a bit cynical about the whole thing. I'm glad you're OK and managed to mostly clear your back troubles! I wish you the best of health.
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In the above text, I skipped over the considerable number of doctor appointments, consultant appointments, X-rays, MRIs, different types of very strong pain medication, before reaching the conclusion after several months that surgery was the best option. There was plenty of discussion about chairs, posture, etc.. Surgery wasn't suggested on the first appointment. At this time, I was in so much pain I couldn't even sit in a chair.
The 3D MRI scans, which I went over in detail with the surgeon, were very clear. The comparison between a normal nerve root exit and those at my C4 and C7 vertebrae were shocking. I had no doubt at the time that surgery would be needed. Also, to be fair to the surgeon, he advised me to change my job about two weeks before I was actually made redundant. I was extremely happy with the medical care and advice I received throughout all of this.
When I spoke to the surgeon about the reduction in pain during August and how that could happen despite the obvious physical problems in my spine, he replied "We treat symptoms, not scans" and advised to postpone and see what happened. Neither of us could have known prior to me leaving work, just how much of an impact that would have. BTW if you had asked me beforehand if I was stressed at work, I would have said no.
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When I was finishing up my Master's Thesis, I got a terrible headache. It was so bad that I went to see a GP who sent me to a hospital for tests. They could not find anything physically wrong with me so the harried doctor just told me to reduce screentime and sent me home. Miraculously the headache vanished literally few minutes after I submitted my thesis. And then, few years later, it came back when I was finishing up my PhD thesis, though luckily then I knew what was going on which helped to mitigate it a little - and again it vanished after submitting. So absolutely, stress can cause significant physical symptoms and this is before considering ergonomics which can have a huge impact as well, especially as we get older.
Glad to hear you are doing better Steve. That motorhome tour plan sounds amazing!
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Thanks for the update Steve. I may be in a minority here, but I don't think you even need to wait until mid-March to slow down the Aurora work. I for one appreciate a semi-long-term "stable" version for an AAR project! I know there's a couple other projects ongoing and certainly more people may start such a thing if they know that 2.5.1 is going to be the version for a while. Maybe faster version releases would bring in/retain more players but that's never been the goal and our core community here is made of folks in it for the long haul anyways. ;)
Perhaps it is time to start a NATO vs Soviet vs China campaign which can update very occasionally from the road, but only very occasionally so as not to neglect your wife and travels. ;D
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Glad your health improved so dramatically without having to roll the dice on surgery! Motoring around Europe in your motorhome sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime experience few people get to enjoy, and definitely sounds like you earned it.
I definitely appreciate everything you've done with creating C# Aurora and the relatively rapid release of improvements and enhancements you've made it it for free for us. With all the recent QoL improvements to Ground Combat, plus all the missile and PD mechanics, there's definitely a trove of Trans-Newtonian fun that can be mined for the current version for months. Bug-fixes are always welcome but I love the idea of you getting to "touch grass" with your wife exploring beautiful sights making your own paths for an entire year. Hope you both enjoy it!!
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When I was finishing up my Master's Thesis, I got a terrible headache. It was so bad that I went to see a GP who sent me to a hospital for tests. They could not find anything physically wrong with me so the harried doctor just told me to reduce screentime and sent me home. Miraculously the headache vanished literally few minutes after I submitted my thesis.
I have experienced similar phenomena 3 times in my life, but causing stomach issues instead. The first time was so bad that for 3 months I could only eat 1 meal per day, split into tiny portions over the whole day. Every single bite would make my stomach crunch painfully, ..but I had to eat something somehow.
Doctors put a camera into my stomach but couldn't find anything. Back then I refused to believe it was psychological, because the only thing going on was a very breezy 'pretend scientific work and submit' bachelor thesis. Well, problems stopped like Garfunkel said, right after submission. (2 years later it also came back in masters, but much weaker and shorter)
There was no proper cause to be that cripplingly tense about, but the body doesn't care, so I had to learn that he has the last word, and my reasoning doesn't matter.
Luckily I now work near 100% remote and live in a very park rich region with multiple clean lakes and said calm wine and dine restaurants just in front of my doorstep, so winding down is just a thing I can chose to do now. I already know living in hustle center city environments would absolutely kill me.
Regarding Aurora: I am personally very happy with the developed stage that the C# version has already reached, so I would say this is a perfect spot to take a break. Not that anybody would have forced you before anyway, but even on matters of your personal ambition, I think you can very well be satisfied and tune it back by now. :)👍
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When I was finishing up my Master's Thesis, I got a terrible headache. It was so bad that I went to see a GP who sent me to a hospital for tests. They could not find anything physically wrong with me so the harried doctor just told me to reduce screentime and sent me home. Miraculously the headache vanished literally few minutes after I submitted my thesis. And then, few years later, it came back when I was finishing up my PhD thesis, though luckily then I knew what was going on which helped to mitigate it a little - and again it vanished after submitting. So absolutely, stress can cause significant physical symptoms and this is before considering ergonomics which can have a huge impact as well, especially as we get older.
Glad to hear you are doing better Steve. That motorhome tour plan sounds amazing!
My partner had something similar during Uni. High stress levels were causing non-epileptic seizures. As soon as the point of stress resolved itself the seizures stopped and haven't reoccured. If I'm honest I'm not surprised that a complex organism that spent the vast majority of its evolutionary history with nothing on their mind beyond the next meal and keeping an eye out for things wanting to eat them, might then struggle to deal with the vagueries of modern life and all the associated complexity and stress that comes with it. Which is why we're thankfully moving on from the suck-it-up and get on with it mode of thinking regarding physical and mental health and how we interact with it.
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Due to some significant changes in my life, I think it is worth explaining what is happening and how that is likely to affect Aurora in 2024. I hope it might also inform others facing similar circumstances.
I suffered severe problems with my back and my left arm from the beginning of 2023. Due to deterioration of the intervertebral discs in my neck, my vertebrae are compressing in a couple of places and pressing on the nerve roots, causing a lot of pain in my back and down my arm and resulting in muscle weakness. Weirdly, I could lift, but not pull or push with my left arm. After various consultants, spinal MRI scans, etc., I was scheduled for an operation in September 2023 to remove part of a vertebrae in order to relieve that pressure, albeit with a small percentage chance of making things considerably worse.
At the start of August 2023, I was made redundant. Maybe not the best timing, but leaving had an unexpected positive side effect. Immediately following my departure, my wife and I spent a month travelling in our motorhome. By the end of that month, the pain had almost entirely disappeared and I had regained most of the strength in my left arm. After speaking to my spinal surgeon, he advised that I must have been severely stressed at work (even though I didn't realise) and that was causing inflammation in my back, which made the physical problem a lot worse.
I'd also made a lot of changes in my working environment in the meantime, such as getting a better chair, making sure the monitor was the right height and working in the centre of the screen, not the left, so my head wasn't always turned. Given the pain was now minimal, we decided to postpone the surgery. That seems to have been a good decision, because I can go weeks with only minimal pain medication. Even when it comes back, I can usually track it to a source of stress - dealing with the call centre for the bank for example :) - or unusual physical activity, like helping my daughter move house.
I did look for other work, albeit without any great enthusiasm to go back to a similar type of job, but before Xmas my wife and I decided to do something else entirely, and we have been getting ready since then. From mid-March 2024, we are going to be living in our motorhome full time for at least a year, with the intention to travel around the UK and over to Europe, mainly wandering around quaint villages or sitting at the side of lakes with good food and wine. It's a much healthier, cheaper and fun lifestyle, with far less stress. All our furniture is going into storage and we are currently selling the wide variety of items that we haul around from house to house but never actually use :)
All of this has been very good for Aurora in recent months, as I have been able to spend a lot of time on recent versions. From mid-March, that may change. I will have a laptop and plenty of free time, but part of the reason for the trip is exploring and spending a lot more time outdoors. In terms of work, we are good for a while anyway due to savings, but I'll be looking to do something new. I won't be trying to monetise Aurora - as that will remain a hobby. Perhaps I'll look for some short-term programming work (if anyone needs a part-time, remote-working developer, let me know :) ), or maybe I will finally get around to writing a book. We've discussed creating a travel blog and trying to make a small income from that, as my wife is already a known blogger in the crafting world and we both love to travel. Whatever we do, we are in no rush and our objective is to have a lifestyle we enjoy, rather than trying to maximise our income.
I've learned in the last few months that stress causes very significant physical symptoms; it isn't just 'in your head'. So I hope if anyone else is suffering on-going physical symptoms such as back/limb pain or muscle weakness (but also headaches, tiredness, etc.), they will consider if it might be stress-related, rather than having a purely physiological cause, and take appropriate steps to address it.
I'll update in this thread when we finally get on the road and post a link to our blog if we get around to creating it. In the meantime, I will try to get one more Aurora release out before we leave, mainly to address any outstanding bugs.
I can actually somewhat corroborate the stress angle of this, I got made redundant in my first job a few months back and literally the day after I was told the news I got really sick, could barely get out of bed for a couple days. What I found helped me out was funnily enough, job hunting. I suppose knowing that I was doing something about my predicament at the time helped ease my stress, which in turn helped me recover. I've got another job now so I guess I could say I've made a full recovery in that regard. Hope you make a similar recovery!
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Stress is a weird thing that can cause so may issues. I deal with mine by horse riding, I forget about anything else when I'm riding, grooming, mucking out, and all the other stuff. As the slightly updated saying goes, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of the human".
Happy travels!
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Hi Steve, sad to read what happened to you and at the same time happy for how it is evolving, coincidence I follow a British girl on YT who lives on a converted van, alone in the south of France :)
I can totally understand you, I never faced any major healthy issue in my life (this year I'll turn 39), I do an office job, I live abroad and I never faced working stress of any type.
During the covid era I was working as many of us from home, one day, it was May 2021, I woke up with an unbearable pain back starting from the lumbar area up to the neck.
After getting up, I could not walk for at least the following 2h, I could only seat at home and working while the pain was relieving little by little over the day. Meanwhile the issue was spreading to both the arms and one of them was making a strange noise while moving it, in the end I could not cross my arms due to the pain.
In the evening when I was leaning on the bed ready to sleep it was the worst, a huge pain on the back as I had several hot knives stuck on my spine, I could not turn on a side or the other and I could not sleep due to the pain. It was a nightmare.
Due to the impossibility to even visit a doctor due to the restrictions, I moved forward with this condition for every single day for 8 months, huge pain during the night, no sleeping, rigid and stuck during the day.
Meanwhile I had visited some doctors, neurologists, orthopedics (who proposed the idea of the surgery on my spine due to some kyphosis), generics, I had x-ray and always nothing could be indicated as cause, finally in the beginning of December this pain magically disappeared from a day to another without reason.
About two days later, I went to the park for some jogging, 20 minutes, nothing heavy, I back home and everything was fine. The day after I woke up with my left knee swollen, full of liquid, no pain.
In the beginning I did not paid too much importance, I though I could have put a step in a wrong way the days before at the park but it wasn't and 3 months later even the other knee got the same issue.
Morale of the story, after an infinite amount of doctor visits, MRI, x-ray, blood exams and stuff, It turned out I developed arthritis rheumatoid, I do not have any pain fortunately, I have to take medicaments every day to keep the inflammation lower but my knees, (although from the MRI are fine) I feel they are like of glass, I can walk and fortunately ride a bike, but nothing more, today if I have to run 10m to catch the bus leaving, I probably lose it coz I cannot.
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Glad to hear that everything's working out for your health and well-being. A bit sad to hear that this'll probably mean not getting the "ground air unit" rework until probably 2025, but I suppose I can wait. Well-being matters more, after all.
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Glad to hear you are feeling better.
If you are going to be traveling, you might want to consider making YouTube videos of where you travel too, the sights, the food, etc. There is a niche for that and perhaps you will be able to collect a bit of income from the videos while you travel.
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Steve,
It makes me happy, knowing that y'all are going to take some time for yourselves. Remember to plan for maintenance. Check tires, lights, and brakes before you roll. Be safe on the roads. But, most of all, take the days slow and take em easy. I reckon you've earned it.
- Rook
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Remember to plan for maintenance. Check tires, lights, and brakes before you roll.
And for the love of God check your oil dipstick as well.
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Steve,
It makes me happy, knowing that y'all are going to take some time for yourselves. Remember to plan for maintenance. Check tires, lights, and brakes before you roll. Be safe on the roads. But, most of all, take the days slow and take em easy. I reckon you've earned it.
- Rook
Full Service already booked for day 4 of the trip :)
Although, apart from three days with family and four days at the village of Moreton-in-Marsh in a area of England called the Cotswolds, we have nothing booked at all. Our intention is to only book one campsite at a time, arriving at that campsite before booking the next one, so we don't have commitments. We will go where the mood takes us.
BTW, if anyone from abroad is planning to visit the UK, I highly recommend checking out the Cotswolds, the North Norfolk Coast and the Scottish Highlands. Those are three places we will definitely be visiting extensively during our trip, although timing TBD.
Above ArcWolf mentioned YouTube. We both considered that, but we will probably do a written travel blog instead with photos. Creating decent videos is more of a time commitment, requires specialised equipment to do it well and neither of us has any experience in that area. We both like to write and while videos are a much more popular medium, there is also a lot more competition. Plus, we can ease into the travel blog and decide later whether to do it commercially. I do have a Mavik 2 Pro drone, so I might put some video from that on any blog.
EDIT: An interesting fact about Moreton-in-March is that it is considered to be the inspiration for Bree in the Lord of the Rings and the Bell Inn is the basis for the Prancing Pony. I need to mention that in the blog :)
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Steve
When you get to number 3 on your recommended list get in touch, I can find you a quiet spot with a view. Its more Erid Luin than Bree though.
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Steve
When you get to number 3 on your recommended list get in touch, I can find you a quiet spot with a view. Its more Erid Luin than Bree though.
Thanks, I will do that. Whenever we are in the highlands, its always mountains and/or lochs :)
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don't forget the glens :P
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Also remember that, prolonged stress can lead to more serious mental health-related issues. Such as depression, which is sometimes hard to spot on its own.
If it seems to you that something is wrong and you can't even quite name it. It is always good to ask for help, even from a friend. Let him or her tell you if there are any changes in you, behaviour, mood.
The first step to solving a problem is to recognise that there is one.
Sometimes it is easier to reachout to a stranger.
You'd be surprised how many people around you have struggled with these things.
There's this video from a "Disturbed" concert.
Just type in "A tearful David Draiman shares a powerful, very personal story during Disturbed concert" on YT.
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Happy to hear your health issues got better, I guess you could say you no longer have the back-bone for your previous job, heh heh heh
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Good luck with the travel blog, link us please, I am sure you will.
Neuromuscular tension is a funny business, I can understand how it might build up unconsciously. Back and spine muscles are especially complex. One can employ yoga and relaxation etc (which I do myself) but helps most not to get so tense in the first place, obviously.
It makes sense to prioritise relaxation and enjoy life. Permanent holiday sounds like a great idea. Maybe you will find something remunerative you can do and also enjoy doing on your travels. Hope you can find somewhere warm for the less clement seasons.
I would definitely travel more if I could stand it, unfortunately in my own case long term ME/CFS/CFIDS is prohibitive. ME makes me very sensitive to stress so I understand what you are saying, though for the record my condition is immunological in the first place. In my case I was undiagnosed for ten years so the stress from living like that was off the charts, which made it all worse, long story.
So I am happy now to make the best of being largely housebound with the company of a clattering of jackdaws, a mischief of magpies, a cote of doves, a scurry of squirrels, a charm of goldfinches and your common or garden flock of pigeons. So quite a busy garden. I keep on their good side by supplying sunflower hearts.
Aurora helps to while away the odd afternoon though, so thanks for sharing. :)
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Although, apart from three days with family and four days at the village of Moreton-in-Marsh in a area of England called the Cotswolds, we have nothing booked at all. Our intention is to only book one campsite at a time, arriving at that campsite before booking the next one, so we don't have commitments. We will go where the mood takes us.
BTW, if anyone from abroad is planning to visit the UK, I highly recommend checking out the Cotswolds, the North Norfolk Coast and the Scottish Highlands. Those are three places we will definitely be visiting extensively during our trip, although timing TBD.
Are you planing any trips to Ireland or will it mostly be to the continent? My family owns a campsite in Westmeath. Be great to have you visit. I promise i wont burn the ear off you with questions. haha.
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Are you planing any trips to Ireland or will it mostly be to the continent? My family owns a campsite in Westmeath. Be great to have you visit. I promise i wont burn the ear off you with questions. haha.
My wife is keen to travel to Ireland as she's has never been (I've only ever been to Dublin and Belfast) and we have discussed a motorhome trip in the past. so its a possibility. We've only planned the first week so far. After that, we will make it up as we go along. I'll drop you a DM if we decide to come over. Thanks for the offer!
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Are you planing any trips to Ireland or will it mostly be to the continent? My family owns a campsite in Westmeath. Be great to have you visit. I promise i wont burn the ear off you with questions. haha.
My wife is keen to travel to Ireland as she's has never been (I've only ever been to Dublin and Belfast) and we have discussed a motorhome trip in the past. so its a possibility. We've only planned the first week so far. After that, we will make it up as we go along. I'll drop you a DM if we decide to come over. Thanks for the offer!
There are some great places to see along the west coast. The Wild Atlantic Way the route it called. Speaking to others doing long camper journeys who have stayed with us in the past. They have toured England went north to tour Scotland then ferry from Scotland to Ireland toured a good bit of Ireland and then Ferry from south Ireland to France and onward.
Could be something to look into. Certainly DM me if your trip brings you into the Irish midlands. :)
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Are you planing any trips to Ireland or will it mostly be to the continent? My family owns a campsite in Westmeath. Be great to have you visit. I promise i wont burn the ear off you with questions. haha.
My wife is keen to travel to Ireland as she's has never been (I've only ever been to Dublin and Belfast) and we have discussed a motorhome trip in the past. so its a possibility. We've only planned the first week so far. After that, we will make it up as we go along. I'll drop you a DM if we decide to come over. Thanks for the offer!
There are some great places to see along the west coast. The Wild Atlantic Way the route it called. Speaking to others doing long camper journeys who have stayed with us in the past. They have toured England went north to tour Scotland then ferry from Scotland to Ireland toured a good bit of Ireland and then Ferry from south Ireland to France and onward.
Could be something to look into. Certainly DM me if your trip brings you into the Irish midlands. :)
Yes, that does sound interesting. I'll check the ferries involved.
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It seems to me a donation-based model, using a platform like Patreon (or writing your own - seems like it’d be easy for you) is what would be perfect here. There really is no commitment or selling per se, so the relationship between you and Aurora players is easier to handle than with an early access model or anything else. I’d estimate it could easily net around 5k USD per month and would work very well both with your will not to monetize and the project not taking up every waking moment of your life.
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Had the same issue with my back and arm at the end of 2019. Luckily my doctor immediately diagnosed it to the stress I had at work and gave me a long break to recover. Additionally, we found out that I was holding my head too far forward so we worked on that and the general posture I had in my upper body. I was free of pain after a year and am now since then.
All the best to you and enjoy your year off. Would love to do that ;D
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I am now officially nomadic!
My wife and I are in our Motorhome and travelling in the UK. I had hoped to get a new Aurora release out before we left, but we were too busy getting everything into storage, selling a lot of stuff we didn't use and sorting out all the admin side of being mobile. It will be a while before another update, as my new laptop has Visual Studio 2022 and a new .NET version, which I need to get used to. Until now, I was developing on VS 2015, but that is no longer supported so I thought it was time to move on. Plus, we are just going to relax for the first few weeks after being non-stop since Xmas.
On the bright side, any updates on Aurora in the near future will probably be focused on improving single-screen playability :)
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Sounds exciting for sure! Good luck on your meanderings :)
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On the bright side, any updates on Aurora in the near future will probably be focused on improving single-screen playability :)
Or perhaps a new spoiler nomadic race ;D
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On the bright side, any updates on Aurora in the near future will probably be focused on improving single-screen playability :)
Or perhaps a new spoiler nomadic race ;D
If we are going down that route, I vote for a something nasty. Like the Vang from Christopher Rowley's novels ;D