Somewhere after the battle was lost and Starfall was getting ready to leave the planet with the convoy, I lost the flow of what was happening. I don't know if it was the story or if I got distracted.
Also, at the end there when one carrier was said to have 3 fighters and another had 2, we kept seeing more Roman fighters. Where did they come from?
As with Haegan2005, I think it may be that I had to chop up chapter seven pretty badly to fit it in the posts. It is a rather large Chapter with a lot of scene changes. It is also possible I made it a bit to chaotic. I was trying to convey the idea that the battle was a full blown cluster**** and hard to keep track of.
Lol, good catch about the fighters. Umm... there are more carrier squadons than the ones mentioned, yeah thats the ticket.
I am glad you are enjoying the story so far, and keep picking those nits, it keeps me on my toes.
If you would like a copy to read and see if it flows a bit better not chopped up PM me your Email addy and I will send you a copy. I think I should send you a copy on principal just because you helped me with advice when I first got out of the hospital with the Bi-Lat PE and diabetes.
So, if you wish a copy, let me know. Also, would you mind if I used your name in Book 2, A Test of Wills: The Time of Blood?
Cheers, ??rgr?mr