I'm not quite sure if this is the same number everyone else gets, but I haven't messed with my default settings in 1.12, and I get 80,000 instant research points and 43,350 instant build points with a new race. I want to keep playing with the default options at least until I get some more experience with the game. Having all those points to do whatever you want with opens up a lot of choices, though, to put it mildly.
Are there any specific techs that you beeline for at the start of the game or consider mandatory? With the starting instant research points, I've been getting what I need to build survey ships and civilian ships, some engine techs and minimal jump drive tech, and then a lot of research/construction/mining efficiency techs until I run out. But then, after building a survey fleet, enough freighters and colony ships to keep up with infrastructure construction and pop growth, and some basic ground forces, I still have the vast majority of my instant build points.
I'm uncertain about what else I should be building to really get a strong start economically before I run into any NPRs and have to focus on defense. I'd like to spend all my instant build points at the start if I can, since making ships appear out of nowhere as needed after the game has started doesn't feel quite right. I suspect I might be able to spend a lot of my build points somewhat profitably on tugs and orbital mining platforms and maybe terraformers or jump stabilization stations? I'd have to use my research points to get the techs to build those though. Some orbital defenses for Earth might be good, too, just to be extra prepared. Or should I build the beginnings of a proper fleet at the start so I can start training it and refit my ships as I get more tech? What do you all think is the best way to spend those points to get started?
I agree with you on the ships, although you could still gift yourself a couple at start, it depends on what story you are trying to tell or if you just playing for fun.
So what to do with your building points at the start if you don't like free ships? Very easy: Army.
You'll find out soon that ground units are cheap, you always need more, and they take simply an enormous amount of time to train. Also, the ground units have a very particular setup that is always better to set at the start so that you won't get stuck later. The mechanic is very hard to master and the sooner you start the better. Once you are at it, it also reasonable to believe that a planet ready to travel the stars may have an army due to previous conflicts, peacekeeping, and more. Because of that pouring a bit of RP into the ground research could be a good idea and not in contrast with any cheaty feeling.
If you do that, I would ditch the Jump point Researches as first you'll need to focus on your own system (again unless particular starting condition or RP require otherwise) and before you will be actually able to travel around some time would have passed.
On the RP side, my priority is sensors, 1 weapon, and engines at first with priority given to the field I do not have a scientist. After that is sorted and if I have a few points left I may go for a few upgrades on mineral extraction etc.
In a normal setup I follow the below:
1 - Why I am going to space? Exploration and Exploitation
2 - What do I need to do that? Be able to scan and be in space for a long time along with maintaining or rescuing my ships
3 - What I will do once I find something to exploit? I will have to organize a logistic chain
4 - What if I want to Exploit without minerals? I could colonize
5 - What I will do if I cannot explore any further? I have to find another way to move further
The above are the minimum logic steps that lead you out of Sol and they all require some fixed milestone. I would spend my free RP accordingly.