I colonize and strip-mine everything I can before moving on (what? I'm RPing humans, right?) so I have plenty of resources.
I only bother expanding one system away from colonies, (thoroughly surveying everything in the system, asteroids included) unless I can't find any good mineral concentrations nearby.
When it's time to check out the neighbors, I send a group of 10 expensive survey ships (all have fast hyper-capable engines, jump-capable engines, short range low res active search, modest thermal, modest EM, and the best possible grav/geo sensors) out with some default orders. If they get attacked, they rapidly (typically 20,000 km/s) retreat back to base. Then the big guns roll out. All of them (well, almost. I leave behind a PDC or two).