Diplomatic ship got blowed up

[Armand12 (OP)]

I'm playing a conventional start with a non-conventional NPR already active at game start.   Didn't realize how much a leg up it would have because of that but I digress.   My issue is that while we have successfully established communications, when I sent a civilian class Diplomatic Ship to a world with one of their pops on it, they told me to leave a few (5day) weeks in a row, then destroyed it.   We were at 0 relations and I had them set to neutral.

Am I not going to be able to establish friendly relations with them or should I keep sacrificing ships to explore their space and find a pop they will let me park on?

[Andrew]

The diplomatic relation score you see is your opinion of them. As they opened fire there opinion of you is about -100 or so and set to hostile.
They will calm down , but when you get demands to leave you have to leave or relations worsen and then they open fire. a diplomatic contact in a system without a colony is less likely to cause trouble.
I have never managed much with diplomacy , but other factors I think you need to check are
1) is your diplomatic ship under 10,000 tons
2) was it using active sensors
3) did it have military drives
All of these 3 I believe mean that NPR's do not consider it a diplomatic ship and so it has full relationship penalties

[Zap0]

You pretty much have to hope you encounter this NPR somewhere they don't mind as much, such as a system without a colony of theirs. NPRs like to park ships and fleets in places for years and decades sometimes, so you might get lucky.

Ultimately, diplomacy is just not a well-implemented mechanic.

[Armand12 (OP)]

My ship is exactly 10,000 tons, had an active active sensor, but it did have commercial drive(s).   I think the issue is that the I found one of their primary populations.   I'm now parking it next to a fleet of commercial vessels sitting on a jump point in a system they're not yelling at me about being in.

This is my diplomat

Diplomat 1 class Diplomatic Ship      10,000 tons       90 Crew       619. 4 BP       TCS 200    TH 150    EM 0
750 km/s    JR 1-25(C)      Armour 5-41       Shields 0-0       HTK 21      Sensors 5/5/0/0      DCR 1      PPV 0
MSP 38    Max Repair 300 MSP
Captain    Control Rating 1   BRG   DIP   
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months   

Shorb Engines Limited JC10K Commercial Jump Drive     Max Ship Size 10000 tons    Distance 25k km     Squadron Size 1

Kanitz Turbines INPEC KT-60  EP150. 00 (1)    Power 150    Fuel Use 0. 77%    Signature 150    Explosion 2%
Fuel Capacity 285,000 Litres    Range 670. 2 billion km (10342 days at full power)

Odonnel & Kirby AS18-RK5000 (1)     GPS 1000     Range 18. 5m km    Resolution 100
Samsung IR5-01 (1)     Sensitivity 5     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  17. 7m km
Samsung EM5-01 (1)     Sensitivity 5     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  17. 7m km

This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a Diplomatic Ship for auto-assignment purposes