Posted by: Abridal
« on: December 23, 2021, 09:48:34 PM »(Just for clarification, both the real world name of America and the Warhammer Lustria and Naggaroth are valid names in this setting, with Lustria being obviously South and Central America and the tropical climate portions of North America while Naggaroth is the other northern portion. No pointy-eared arrogant pricks on Earth in this setting besides persecuted minorities who genetically modified themselves to look like elves and are pejoratively known as "LARPers".
And FYI the intro blurb in this update is going to feature truly absurdly over-the-top grimdark. The subject title is a meta reference to... you will see.)
=====================
> To Serve Lizardpeople
> By the deceased Spartacus Cathulus Nylaarhottep, World Eater Premier Chef, posthumous editing by Santa Kharn the Betrayer.
> DISCLAIMER: This is a work of entertainment and art, not a cookbook. Eating Lizardpeople flesh will kill you. Don't feed them to your pets either or they will also die of food poisoning.
> Preparing inedible dishes from the flesh of xenos scum is an inherently ephemeral form of humanitarian artistic expression, a truly avantgarde class of contemporary art.
> Roasted long iguana-on-a-stick
> Ingredients
> 1 lizardman. Specifically a male for this recipe. Preferably preemptively tenderized and still alive by the time this culinary craft is started.
> A huge high quality impalement pole. Oak from the same quality used in fine wine making or better and at least 14 cm diameter recommended.
> 1 kg of curry powder
> 5 kg of chili peppers
> Glue
> 10 kg of salt or more
> 2 litres of Chianti wine.
> (Optional) 400 litres of lizardpeople blood
> Preparation
> Force the lizardman, which should be completely broken and immobilized through fractures, to eat 5 kg of chili.
> Leave it to rest for 2 hours or less if the lizard scum will die sooner than that from previously inflicted injuries
> Raise the impalement pole over a barbecue pit, cover every inch of the pole with glue then salt to ensure it will stay glued over it.
> Impale the lizardman. Optimal technique is to make it very, very slow, up to 1 hour.
> Wait until the lizard stops screaming.
> Flay the lizard alive, then cover it fully in salt, curry and bathe it with Chianti.
> Before lighting the fire for the roast, vivisect the lizard if it still alive. Remove all entrails regardless.
> (Optional) Separate the liver then cook it with the leftovers of the Chianti.
> Roast it over a fire for any time of your artistic preference between almost raw and extra-crispy. It doesn't matter because it's inedible anyway.
> (Optional) Spill 400 litres of xenos blood over the roast to make a truly great statement.
> Serve light refreshments of edible foods and drinks to your guests entertained by the spectacle.
01/Sep/2165
Amanda Carrilho: Really? They bypassed our newest ad blocker too? Turn this holotheater off, I'm not wasting my precious limited idle time watching ads!
Chancellor Marta: Does this ad bother you because you are ashamed of genetic modifications done to you in the past?
No, I am the Emperor. What about you?
I have no shame either about any gene mods on me, or of the mutation I was born with. But, talking more philosophically about this, are you sure you truly are who you think you are? What if your original self died from the drastic genetic and neuronal changes to your brain and you are a clone?
Ship of Theseus, Marta, that old text explains it all. Also, if you truly have no shame why do you hide it?
Because I am aware of certain subcultures that write fan fiction involving famous and powerful people like us, imagine the hackneyed literature with my name within that would flood the Aethernet if they knew. In fact, there are already a few trash slashfics focused on me. I do not want to think about it. About your mind and body, don't you find it strange the dissonance between their chromosomes?
The Emperor chuckled over the explanation and continued:
No, and you are not exactly in a position to define what is normal regarding chromosomes. And really Marta, you are the second most powerful person on Earth yet you are obsessed over some people writing risque fan fiction of you? You are joking, right?
I was infertile as everyone else born like me, I am grateful we live in an age where such extremely rare mutation is no longer a life sentence of sterility, yet I don't want to publicize it. Let me have at least one very silly and inane concern so I can at times distract myself from the serious questions we both need to solve every day. Changing the subject to something more strategically relevant, the Neptune Lagrange point is finally stabilized, we should have much faster travel within Sol from now on thanks to this valuable public work.
Now it is heading for Uranus, correct?
I hope you are not going to make that centuries old and overused pun over Uranus, but sure, it is heading for Uranus to stabilize Uranus Lagrange point so any spacecraft can quickly travel to Uranus.
You just repeated the word Uranus a lot for someone who does not wish for puns about Uranus. Good news though, this will speed up expansion towards whatever is the best source of Neutronium, which is shaping up as the bottleneck of mineral resources that will become a problem eventually.
Disregard my comment about Uranus puns. Once that is over, the Jump stabilizer will head for Saturn and after it finally start a very slow stabilization of Earth's Lagrange point given how low Earth's gravity is compared to those gas giants.
06/Sep/2165
Perhaps the most colourful of rulers in the history of the Imperium, the Chancellor and Emperor were certainly perceived as capable and competent regardless of their peculiarities, and so far they had yet to make any major mistake in the war against the Lizardpeople Hegemony or in their domestic development policies. Over the rest of the year of 2165 things were becoming more slow paced for those most interested in knowing of war, the last victory securing quite a haul of profitable salvage that made even many pacifists among the Mercantile Universalist ideologues change their mind upon noticing the profit margins of blowing xenos ships and salvaging them. Unfortunately for them private military fleets to conduct piracy and raid xenos primarily for profit at their expense were not really an option in the current political climate. If a so called "xenophile" among them concludes there is more wealth to be gained from treating the xenos as loot pinatas rather than as customers to milk wealth from in the long term, they will turn xenophobe overnight. The eventual extinction of xenos given persistent acts like those meaningless in the short-sighted greed of those types.
Everything was going well over the Imperial TN economy. While some reserves were getting low, the scrapping of the Badger 004 by the only Repair Yard in Sancta Terra was over, and immediately its only slipway was occupied to now repair the damaged armor of the Justicar strike cruiser.
14/Dec/2165
Another great year in the Imperial history was coming to an end, and a new Heavy Cruiser with its mighty three heavy plasma macro cannons and not so mighty Gauss turret and four 10 cm railguns was just christened. The Incendrius shall set the xenos on fire with the burning light of the Emperor wherever it goes.
22/Dec/2165
The first two fighters set to become a permanent defense force over the Epsilon Leonis Minoris system, where cargo ships dropped maintenance facilities beforehand, finally were brought in by the already repaired and unoccupied Justicar strike cruiser, which would continue doing this less glorious but still important mission compared to boarding xenos vessels for many more months.
Parallel to this, the survey program restarts after a long time without signs of xenos vessels in known space beyond their home system. Survey I with gravitational modules and recon satellites and II with geological modules head for the very promising system of Iota Ursae Majoris, having multiple potentially inhabitable planets. While some suspected this system was colonized by the Lizardpeople Hegemony, the lack of any jump point defense force signaled a different possibility.
I have received reports the Iota Ursae Majoris system is not inhabited, at least not by lizardpeople. Something else is there and their EM signature is very substantial
All survey ships there are heading out already, correct?
Correct. They are on their way to the León system instead. It is strange that not even a single spacecraft was detected at all, but the orders are for them to avoid endangering themselves, these aliens don't seem to have expanded as much and as far over the systems we know as the Lizardpeople, but my instinct tells they cannot be reasoned with.
The war with the Lizardpeople was no longer the only worry. There were more xenos. For now the choice of the Imperium would be to avoid them and ignore the system where they were found, but sooner or later this would have to be investigated in a more through manner. Whether to eliminate their threat for once and all or perhaps to try to not have to wage war over two fronts by securing last peace if the instinct of the Chancellor is mistaken, much to the anger of the Suffer Not the Xenos lobby.
At the same time, the research of the commercial deck opens up the way for a dedicated commercial carrier to transport system defense fighters over Imperial space. It also opens up the possibility of easy repair of planetary defense fighter forces by orbital fighter bases that do not demand maintenance themselves. Two initial proposals are drafted to make use of this technology. The first is a completely unarmored orbital fighter base to repair fighters within planets, which still has some CIWS final defense capability, the Sentinel. Given its hangar space, it also houses a few shuttles.
The second draft is far more ambitious and no commercial shipyard currently available would serve it. Not only a commercial fighter carrier, the Defensor also could be a frigate carrier to extend the limited range of a squadron jump capable force of 7 frigates, or even load an entire heavy cruiser inside it. However, it is meant for long range transportation rather than repairing ships in its hangars and lacks the large amount of maintenance supplies of the Sentinel fighter base. While it is not completely unprotected by armor like the fighter base, it is not intended for front line operations. An alternative proposal already exists that sacrifices all armor thickness to give it more maintenance supplies so it can repair anything that can fit inside its 21,000 tons maximum capacity hangar, and more than one voice question the point of having armor in a spacecraft like this. If it gets attacked without an escort, it will blow to pieces anyway, they say.
It may take many years before the construction of something like this design starts, first there will be the need to build a new commercial shipyard and all construction factories are still busy building more construction factories and mines to ship off-planet, then it would also have to be expanded to 80,000 tons capacity.
26/Mar/2166
One of the new shipyards is ready to begin the construction of the next generation of beam frigates while its predecessor in the same role is still being expanded to 15,000 tons capacity. With more speed through the long overdue and already technically obsolete upgrade from Ion to Magneto-Plasma, the new frigates will be able to outrun any known xenos spacecraft design for now.
31/Mar/2166
Refit of the Immaterium Jump Frigate to its new model 2 commences. All frigates will be refitted to have the same maximum speed and also have their fire controls replaced with bigger ones with more tracking speed to take advantage of it. While the velocity leap isn't that big, it will make a major difference in battle.
05/May/2166
The xenos recycling program continues with the scrapping of the Highcastle 019 completed. The TN minerals acquired through these means and also salvage still completely overshadow the mining output from planets, and this will continue for some time with most mines trying to metaphorically milk rock by being stuck in low accessibility veins in Mercury and Mars and depleting veins in Earth, for now. Epsilon Leonis Minoris, the only inhabited system by humanity outside of Sol, is unfortunately lacking in mineral potential. Either that or someone made a big oversight.
09/May/2166
Decently accessible reserves of Sorium are located by Survey II in the hot Jupiter León-A I. The low colony cost León-A II planet is unfortunately devoid of TN minerals, but the geological survey of this system has only started. Maybe it could have a motherlode in addition to Sorium.
18/May/2166
Survey of the León system finds out a huge reserve of 53,444,000 units of Sorium at the fourth planet, a Super-Jovian. Definitively this system will be valuable for fuel production despite having nothing else of value, most unfortunately. None of the other Trans-Newtonian elements exist in any significant amount, unless the last bodies still to be surveyed hold out something.
28/May/2166
Corbomite, more specifically 432,964 units of it, is located in the 9th moon of the Super-Jovian León-A IV, the only noteworthy and large reserves of any TN element besides Sorium in this system so far. The really important elements exist only in trace quantities, when they exist at all.
19/Jul/2166
The lone unmanned probe at the Grimgor system detected a curious situation. Most of the enemy ships left their watch over the jump point to Omicron Piscis Austrini. This was another opportunity to weaken them further that couldn't be wasted. What were these xenos thinking? Do they expect this will bait the space force of the Imperium so they will recklessly charge as if there were not almost a hundred if not more particle lances awaiting them further in-system?
Boarding attempt against the unknown Bank 001 is initiated by the Memento Mori assault shuttles in the Justicar. This unknown xenos design seems to lack weapons. All five shuttles return to their mothership without any risk to them while the shields of the Vindico absorb the particle lances. Significant losses are suffered by the space marines however, due to the high speed of the targeted vessel.
Tell me again: why are old names being reused on new detected xenos ships which real names we do not know? Wasn't the Zun V Class designated Bank before?
A lot of our intelligence is composed by hacks devoid of creativity to give unique designations to every xenos ships we find, so they are reusing stuff.
So from a destroyer with four particle lances, the same name is given to a completely unarmed commercial spacecraft? Hacks is an understatement.
(The name list "NATO designations for Soviet Aircraft" just got depleted)
The boarding action casualty report is here:
The I Romulus Ravens lost 6 bolter marines and 1 fireteam leader named Henrique Boreale.
The III Duranium Triarii lost 6 bolter marines and 2 plasma MGs.
The IV Space Wolves lost 7 bolter marines and all fireteam leaders. Two space marines got promoted to lead the fireteams.
The V Ultrasolarii lost 4 bolter marines and also all fireteam leaders, including an once promising Roberotti Guilhermann.
The VI World Eaters lost 7 bolter marines and 1 plasma MG. The survivors are once again eager for another chainsaw party.
The Bank 001 is definitively not a military design, it simply stays there in the jump point instead of chasing the Cruiser Flotilla, which is barely gaining distance for it is only 34 km/s faster than the pursuing vessel.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:05
While the armor of the Bank 001 was penetrated, another salvo of 4 particle lances hits the Vindico, reducing its shields to 47%. Worrisome is the fact the fleet remains under jump shock and unable to return fire. At this point it is obvious trying to get far away enough to not get hit is useless. Instead the only choice is to keep at point-blank and hope the jump shock will be over before the lances deplete all force from the shields and start causing serious damage. 7 heavy plasma macro cannons will quickly change the tide of this battle, once they are online.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:40
3 gory remnants of xenos out of 25 killed reptilians are the first redecoration of the World Eaters within the Bank 001. Not even one space marine was lost in boarding combat for now. The Cruiser Flotilla still has not managed to open fire, unfortunately.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:50
The Vindico finally recovers from jump shock, unleashing a brutal point-blank salvo of plasma, rail and Gauss gun fire that immediately paralyzes the Zun V 033 with the three shots with strength rating 96 from the heavy plasma macro cannons. While it seems wasteful to not have brought more marines to board this ship for this particular operation, this is by all accounts the home system of the Lizardpeople Hegemony, therefore no window of opportunity exists to send a tug all the way from Sol to move it out of here in the first place.
5 seconds later...
The Justicar recovers from jump shock and finishes the job against the only nearby armed alien ship for now, with another blast of heavy plasma and its Gauss cannon as a finisher. Cruiser Flotilla I will "rescue" the life pods from the destroyed xenos ship, then wait on the other side of the jump point for Bank 001, whatever it is, to be fully conquered by the space marines, for the best in life can only be this: To crush your enemies in boarding combat, see their ships driven before you in the shipyards of Holy Terra and hear the lamentations of their "women", the Earthling xenos lovers.
It has been decided that boarding action reports in operations with zero casualties among space marines from combat are as redundant as reporting how many reptiles a hunter in the swamps of the Pantanal or Louisiana got in a routine lizard season. Right now it's Lizardpeople Season and the big hunters are really making it big in the big leagues, specially the World Eaters who also make this hunt very brutal.
The previous statement is not wholly correct. There is a report on numbers of hunted alligators, crocodiles and the likes for Earth, a necessary bureaucracy to ensure lasting species preservation, but that is small scale compared to the "hunt" that is happening in the void of space. The population of xenos is not under any environmental protection laws for sure and nobody will shed a tear should they go extinct outside a minority of bleeding hearts. Their tears are music to the ears of most.
Rumor is a World Eater wrote a book called "To Serve Lizardpeople" and recorded his feasting over his first recipe, Long iguana-on-a-stick, where the long is an allusion to the infamous word "long pork" as an euphemism for cannibalism. He died of food poisoning that day because no Earth being can metabolize xenos carbs, fats or proteins due organic molecules between worlds being completely different and incompatible as a result of dramatic evolutionary differences over eons of parallel development of biological life across the universe. The book still sold five times more after the author's death no matter its apparent uselessness. The World Eaters would follow the recipes regardless of that, not to eat, but to add some literal spice to their methods of killing xenos.
Later someone decided to adapt these recipes for a plethora of Earth reptiles including snakes, iguanas, crocodiles and "cloned dinosaurs", this last idea quite far-fetched. Would someone really clone dinosaurs as livestock for a gourmet reptilian meat restaurant? Reptilian meats took a high rise in popularity ever since the war against the Lizardpeople.
02/Aug/2166 23:19:40
The Duranium Triarii lost one bolter marine, but the xenos are going down very fast.
02/Aug/2166 23:20:40
Another loss for the Duranium Triarii, a fireteam leader this time.
02/Aug/2166 23:23:40
The World Eaters finally do a real slaughter, 7 out of 35. Everyone did great in this moment. The World Eaters are throwing salts and spices over the dead corpses of xenos, as if rushing one first step to prepare recipes just for the spectacle of horror and carnage once the battle is over in honor of the writer of the great book "To Serve Lizardpeople".
02/Aug/2166 23:24:40
In a throwback to another infamous boarding operation, several xenos throw themselves out of the airlock because witnessing the World Eaters trying culinary with the corpses of their fallen drove them to such desperate act. The fact not all of the fallen were actually dead when the VI World Eaters eviscerated them, flayed them then salted their flesh or chopped their limbs off, not necessarily in this order, and their final screams of excruciating agony also contributed to such an outcome. Bank 001 fell and was identified as a new type of xenos ship, the Sarth V Class Scout:
A Thermal Sensor called TH6-66 and an EM Sensor called EM6-66. World Eaters are the VIth of the first space marine squadrons. Some believe this is no coincidence. 666, the number of the World Eaters repeated three times. Is it a preternatural sign, a leftover of a blessing given by an unknown deity who favors them?
07/Aug/2166
Two Barge unknown class ships, three Highcastle IV Gauss and three Badger particle beam destroyers move in to protect the jump point from Grimgor to Omicron Piscis Austrini. The recently boarded vessel is on its way to Sol and it is clear this error of judgement by the reptoids is going to end.
11/Aug/2166
More six Barge Class unknowns and twenty-seven Zun V particle lance destroyers join the jump point defense at the xenos home system. They don't seem interested in leaving that position again any time soon.
28/Aug/2166
Training of new reservists for space marines is completed. All space marine squadrons are now reinforced to full strength and ready for more boarding operations. An incomplete overview of all forces as of this date is available below:
01/Sep/2166
The captured SC Bank 001 finally arrives at Holy Terra. There is no immediate slipway available to scrap it yet. The bounty of the boarding operations of the last years has been big after all.
21/Sep/2166
Uranus LP stabilized, resulting in 3 Lagrange points in Sol, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune. Facere Cadia heads now for Saturn to further accelerate in-system traffic. No dumb Uranus puns this time, really.
07/Oct/2166
Highcastle IV 053 is finally scrapped. The slipway where this happened is now occupied with the refit of the Justicar to the new Strike Cruiser design, that will have not 5 but 10 Memento Mori Assault shuttles for maximum boarding capabilities.
03/Dec/2166
Survey II, after overhaul and complete survey of the somewhat disappointing León system is sent to investigate the mineral worth of the much closer Abaddon system, from where no enemy activity has been detected for a long time, and thus it is no longer deemed under hostile control. Hopefully some very precious motherlode will be found there.
28/Dec/2166
Four Gladius III Class Frigates are refitted to the new, faster and better Gladius IV while the Carnifex Light Cruiser is finally built. The new Gladius IV uses separate, single Gauss turrets for better anti-missile defense, in addition to being faster of course. However, it had to downgrade its fire control maximum range a bit to fit in everything.
29/Dec/2166
Lizardpeople asteroid mining operation detected in Abaddon's Asteroid Number Two(that is its name for now, such creativity), completely undefended and ripe for conquest.
08/Jan/2167
Another asteroid mining operation from the xenos detected, this time in Asteroid Number Fifteen.
16/Jan/2167
Forty-five Bark Class unknowns detected in the Manticore system escorted by a few Gauss PD escorts built using inferior tech to the Gauss cannons of the Imperium, at the jump point to Xi Piscis Austrini. The Vindico and Incendrius Heavy Cruisers and the Carnifex Light Cruiser are dispatched to identify the threat level and if possible eliminate this force.
21/Jan/2167
Surface-to-Orbit force detected at Asteroid Number Thirteen in the Abaddon system, but strangely it did not attack the Survey II fleet. The number thirteen was a lucky number for the Imperium this time.
31/Jan/2167
The Elvandar IV 012 finally scrapped is in Holy Terra for more precious minerals. Alien forces in the Manticore system just vanished from short range jump point sensors of the recon satellite. A sweep through identified jump points there will be performed to attempt locating it, for it is probably heading to another jump point.
One term describes the battle in the Manticore system: piece of cake. With one exception: the eagerness and reckless maneuvering during the opening phases allows the xenos to launch two barrages of Gauss fire in return causing internal damage to the Vindico Heavy Cruiser and the loss of 3 crewmen. After that rather than attempt to follow the convoy directly, they position themselves in static waypoints. With the targeted fleet moving at less than 200 km/s and the escorts refusing to detach to move faster than that and engage the ad-hoc Cruiser Flotilla II, this becomes a very boring battle, so much the Emperor did not have even anything to comment about it and that is it.
One of the Bark ships surrenders. It is a Fuel Harvester. About as exciting as it is fast. The shooting gallery, turkey shooting game, boring routine xenos purging or whatever name it is that depicts this battle with utmost accuracy continues.
Shortly later, Captain Aldina of the Carnifex is given another Raider medal for over five hundred thousand tons of xenos commercial shipping destroyed. That is right, it is not an exaggerated number, this is the scale of this convoy raiding damage.
02/Feb/2167 19:40:30
Two more Fuel Harvesters surrender, both with their engines intact. However with their speed being pitiful 189 km/s the only Tug of the Imperium will have a lot of work to do this year because having them reach Sol on their own will take forever. These designs are pretty useless for the strategic necessities of humanity. Better to scrap them and use their harvester modules on future vessels that won't take forever to reach a gas giant with Sorium.
02/Feb/2167 19:43:25
Another Fuel Harvester surrenders. No armed alien vessels remain. This will certainly be a setback for the xenos. From "rescued" xenos after this battle was over, something of dubious utility is also discovered:
Not completely useless, for it exposes a worrisome knowledge: the Lizardpeople Hegemony just had another leap in their propulsion technology, but they have yet to build anything using this new Magnetic Fusion. The existing Imperial cruisers being slower than the new Lizardpeople particle lance destroyers once they start showing up will be a death knell for any future offensive operations by the Imperium until such advantage is neutralized by yet another refit.
03/Feb/2167
After being threatened to be sent to the World Eaters special arena and "culinary" reality show to entertain them, one of the Lizardpeople share technical details that will accelerate Shipbuilding for the Imperium (560 BP)
Meanwhile the mysterious aliens at Iota Ursae Majoris apparently have a neutral relationship with the Lizardpeople, but Intelligence specialists still advise caution, these other aliens might actually be even less willing to negotiate than the already known reptoids.
09/Feb/2167
The Abaddon system is confirmed as a dead end by Survey I gravitational modules and gathered Intelligence data from captured Lizardpeople. Its complete conquest is a low priority now as the continued geological survey has yet to detect some really great mineral reserves.
14/Feb/2167
The refit of the Umbra to the new Alpharius Class intelligence Corvette is complete. Immediately it sets course for its most dangerous and bold espionage mission so far, if not the most dangerous espionage mission in the entire history of the Novus Imperium.
Emperor. We must stop this Operation Glow in the Dark IIA Blackbird immediately, which name sounds funny too. Someone might have misinformed you about the tactical meaning of squadron jump radius
This is the best shot we have to catch up to xenos in propulsion technology, by having ELINT right in their home world. The risks are more than worth it.
But there is no really significant chance of success, I am telling you! Do not complain I did not warn you later
I will take responsibility for this operation, but I will not put an end to what could drastically turn the tide of this war in our favor because of high failure chances.
Success chances are almost impossible, but if you insist, so be it.
26/Feb/2167
The Saturn Lagrange point is finally stabilized, the Facere Cadia is now going on a much slower project to stabilize Earth's LP to truly maximize space travel velocity across Sol. Meanwhile the great operation of intelligence is about to reach its dramatic moment of truth. For this endeavor the saying a picture is worth a thousand words, even if the picture itself contains words, is probably very accurate. Let the images speak for themselves of these men of courage who now travel through the void of space with no fear.
The long past of success of the ICV Umbra is the source of Magneto-Plasma propulsion and many other great successes in espionage for the Imperium against the Lizardpeople Hegemony, and now the high water mark of this venerable ship is about to begin, an example for all in service of the Imperium, the dauntlessness that is inspiring in a completely unarmed and unarmored ship, its defenses only speed and wits. Let all remember its approach into the great space-time shortcut, for this is the moment this particular spacecraft and her crew will never be forgotten, come what may.
...
...
...
...
And FYI the intro blurb in this update is going to feature truly absurdly over-the-top grimdark. The subject title is a meta reference to... you will see.)
=====================
> To Serve Lizardpeople
> By the deceased Spartacus Cathulus Nylaarhottep, World Eater Premier Chef, posthumous editing by Santa Kharn the Betrayer.
> DISCLAIMER: This is a work of entertainment and art, not a cookbook. Eating Lizardpeople flesh will kill you. Don't feed them to your pets either or they will also die of food poisoning.
> Preparing inedible dishes from the flesh of xenos scum is an inherently ephemeral form of humanitarian artistic expression, a truly avantgarde class of contemporary art.
> Roasted long iguana-on-a-stick
> Ingredients
> 1 lizardman. Specifically a male for this recipe. Preferably preemptively tenderized and still alive by the time this culinary craft is started.
> A huge high quality impalement pole. Oak from the same quality used in fine wine making or better and at least 14 cm diameter recommended.
> 1 kg of curry powder
> 5 kg of chili peppers
> Glue
> 10 kg of salt or more
> 2 litres of Chianti wine.
> (Optional) 400 litres of lizardpeople blood
> Preparation
> Force the lizardman, which should be completely broken and immobilized through fractures, to eat 5 kg of chili.
> Leave it to rest for 2 hours or less if the lizard scum will die sooner than that from previously inflicted injuries
> Raise the impalement pole over a barbecue pit, cover every inch of the pole with glue then salt to ensure it will stay glued over it.
> Impale the lizardman. Optimal technique is to make it very, very slow, up to 1 hour.
> Wait until the lizard stops screaming.
> Flay the lizard alive, then cover it fully in salt, curry and bathe it with Chianti.
> Before lighting the fire for the roast, vivisect the lizard if it still alive. Remove all entrails regardless.
> (Optional) Separate the liver then cook it with the leftovers of the Chianti.
> Roast it over a fire for any time of your artistic preference between almost raw and extra-crispy. It doesn't matter because it's inedible anyway.
> (Optional) Spill 400 litres of xenos blood over the roast to make a truly great statement.
> Serve light refreshments of edible foods and drinks to your guests entertained by the spectacle.
01/Sep/2165
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Enlarge your Everything!
A S.A.G. Consumer Products GeneticsTM Advertisement
Are you tired of being ashamed of the size of anything in your body?
Are you tired of everyone being more beautiful than you?
Are you tired of not being who you truly want to be?
Now your problems are over!
S.A.G. Super Resize TransGeneModTM is the amazing leap of genecosmetic surgical service you have been waiting for
and it even changes your genes so your heirs will be blessed by it as a bonus that is completely gratis with no extra fee for it!
Do not be limited by evolutionary natural biology or your chromosomes at birth! Be anything, have anything you want in your body!
Make your preferred unrealistically beautiful Simulated Reality avatar match your real physical body now!
Including both S.A.G. GigachadTM and S.A.G. HyperstacyTM physical beauty standards
and also other more exotic genetic modification standard template constructs to match any preference and choice you may have.
What are you waiting for?
Hire our services today and become the god or goddess of beauty and bodily perfection you always wanted to be right now!
PETA Approved. No Animal Testing. Only Indentured Test Subjects.
S.A.G. Consumer Products GeneticsTM: if your bank account has enough digits, we make you into whatever you want to be, even an attack helicopter!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Enlarge your Everything!
A S.A.G. Consumer Products GeneticsTM Advertisement
Are you tired of being ashamed of the size of anything in your body?
Are you tired of everyone being more beautiful than you?
Are you tired of not being who you truly want to be?
Now your problems are over!
S.A.G. Super Resize TransGeneModTM is the amazing leap of genecosmetic surgical service you have been waiting for
and it even changes your genes so your heirs will be blessed by it as a bonus that is completely gratis with no extra fee for it!
Do not be limited by evolutionary natural biology or your chromosomes at birth! Be anything, have anything you want in your body!
Make your preferred unrealistically beautiful Simulated Reality avatar match your real physical body now!
Including both S.A.G. GigachadTM and S.A.G. HyperstacyTM physical beauty standards
and also other more exotic genetic modification standard template constructs to match any preference and choice you may have.
What are you waiting for?
Hire our services today and become the god or goddess of beauty and bodily perfection you always wanted to be right now!
PETA Approved. No Animal Testing. Only Indentured Test Subjects.
S.A.G. Consumer Products GeneticsTM: if your bank account has enough digits, we make you into whatever you want to be, even an attack helicopter!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Amanda Carrilho: Really? They bypassed our newest ad blocker too? Turn this holotheater off, I'm not wasting my precious limited idle time watching ads!
Chancellor Marta: Does this ad bother you because you are ashamed of genetic modifications done to you in the past?
No, I am the Emperor. What about you?
I have no shame either about any gene mods on me, or of the mutation I was born with. But, talking more philosophically about this, are you sure you truly are who you think you are? What if your original self died from the drastic genetic and neuronal changes to your brain and you are a clone?
Ship of Theseus, Marta, that old text explains it all. Also, if you truly have no shame why do you hide it?
Because I am aware of certain subcultures that write fan fiction involving famous and powerful people like us, imagine the hackneyed literature with my name within that would flood the Aethernet if they knew. In fact, there are already a few trash slashfics focused on me. I do not want to think about it. About your mind and body, don't you find it strange the dissonance between their chromosomes?
The Emperor chuckled over the explanation and continued:
No, and you are not exactly in a position to define what is normal regarding chromosomes. And really Marta, you are the second most powerful person on Earth yet you are obsessed over some people writing risque fan fiction of you? You are joking, right?
I was infertile as everyone else born like me, I am grateful we live in an age where such extremely rare mutation is no longer a life sentence of sterility, yet I don't want to publicize it. Let me have at least one very silly and inane concern so I can at times distract myself from the serious questions we both need to solve every day. Changing the subject to something more strategically relevant, the Neptune Lagrange point is finally stabilized, we should have much faster travel within Sol from now on thanks to this valuable public work.
Now it is heading for Uranus, correct?
I hope you are not going to make that centuries old and overused pun over Uranus, but sure, it is heading for Uranus to stabilize Uranus Lagrange point so any spacecraft can quickly travel to Uranus.
You just repeated the word Uranus a lot for someone who does not wish for puns about Uranus. Good news though, this will speed up expansion towards whatever is the best source of Neutronium, which is shaping up as the bottleneck of mineral resources that will become a problem eventually.
Disregard my comment about Uranus puns. Once that is over, the Jump stabilizer will head for Saturn and after it finally start a very slow stabilization of Earth's Lagrange point given how low Earth's gravity is compared to those gas giants.
Code: [Select]
Cadia class Jump Tender 36,020 tons 141 Crew 1,090.5 BP TCS 720 TH 1,250 EM 0
1735 km/s Armour 1-97 Shields 0-0 HTK 32 Sensors 0/0/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 0
MSP 618 Max Repair 600 MSP
Commander Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months
Jump Point Stabilisation: 360 days
Tartaruga PEB MION-C625 (2) Power 1250 Fuel Use 2.24% Signature 625 Explosion 5%
Fuel Capacity 250,000 Litres Range 55.9 billion km (372 days at full power)
This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a Stabilisation Ship for auto-assignment purposes06/Sep/2165
Perhaps the most colourful of rulers in the history of the Imperium, the Chancellor and Emperor were certainly perceived as capable and competent regardless of their peculiarities, and so far they had yet to make any major mistake in the war against the Lizardpeople Hegemony or in their domestic development policies. Over the rest of the year of 2165 things were becoming more slow paced for those most interested in knowing of war, the last victory securing quite a haul of profitable salvage that made even many pacifists among the Mercantile Universalist ideologues change their mind upon noticing the profit margins of blowing xenos ships and salvaging them. Unfortunately for them private military fleets to conduct piracy and raid xenos primarily for profit at their expense were not really an option in the current political climate. If a so called "xenophile" among them concludes there is more wealth to be gained from treating the xenos as loot pinatas rather than as customers to milk wealth from in the long term, they will turn xenophobe overnight. The eventual extinction of xenos given persistent acts like those meaningless in the short-sighted greed of those types.
Everything was going well over the Imperial TN economy. While some reserves were getting low, the scrapping of the Badger 004 by the only Repair Yard in Sancta Terra was over, and immediately its only slipway was occupied to now repair the damaged armor of the Justicar strike cruiser.
14/Dec/2165
Another great year in the Imperial history was coming to an end, and a new Heavy Cruiser with its mighty three heavy plasma macro cannons and not so mighty Gauss turret and four 10 cm railguns was just christened. The Incendrius shall set the xenos on fire with the burning light of the Emperor wherever it goes.
22/Dec/2165
The first two fighters set to become a permanent defense force over the Epsilon Leonis Minoris system, where cargo ships dropped maintenance facilities beforehand, finally were brought in by the already repaired and unoccupied Justicar strike cruiser, which would continue doing this less glorious but still important mission compared to boarding xenos vessels for many more months.
Parallel to this, the survey program restarts after a long time without signs of xenos vessels in known space beyond their home system. Survey I with gravitational modules and recon satellites and II with geological modules head for the very promising system of Iota Ursae Majoris, having multiple potentially inhabitable planets. While some suspected this system was colonized by the Lizardpeople Hegemony, the lack of any jump point defense force signaled a different possibility.
I have received reports the Iota Ursae Majoris system is not inhabited, at least not by lizardpeople. Something else is there and their EM signature is very substantial
All survey ships there are heading out already, correct?
Correct. They are on their way to the León system instead. It is strange that not even a single spacecraft was detected at all, but the orders are for them to avoid endangering themselves, these aliens don't seem to have expanded as much and as far over the systems we know as the Lizardpeople, but my instinct tells they cannot be reasoned with.
The war with the Lizardpeople was no longer the only worry. There were more xenos. For now the choice of the Imperium would be to avoid them and ignore the system where they were found, but sooner or later this would have to be investigated in a more through manner. Whether to eliminate their threat for once and all or perhaps to try to not have to wage war over two fronts by securing last peace if the instinct of the Chancellor is mistaken, much to the anger of the Suffer Not the Xenos lobby.
At the same time, the research of the commercial deck opens up the way for a dedicated commercial carrier to transport system defense fighters over Imperial space. It also opens up the possibility of easy repair of planetary defense fighter forces by orbital fighter bases that do not demand maintenance themselves. Two initial proposals are drafted to make use of this technology. The first is a completely unarmored orbital fighter base to repair fighters within planets, which still has some CIWS final defense capability, the Sentinel. Given its hangar space, it also houses a few shuttles.
Code: [Select]
Sentinel class Fighter Base 22,584 tons 218 Crew 1,535.1 BP TCS 452 TH 0 EM 0
1 km/s No Armour Shields 0-0 HTK 53 Sensors 0/0/0/0 DCR 2 PPV 0
MSP 5,084 Max Repair 100 MSP
Hangar Deck Capacity 12,000 tons Cargo Shuttle Multiplier 2
Commander Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months Flight Crew Berths 240
Fuel Capacity 1,000,000 Litres Range N/A
Taurus PDW-200 (1x10) Range 1000 km TS: 20,000 km/s ROF 5
Camara Sistemas Microsensor m1 (1) GPS 11 Range 6.1m km MCR 545.7k km Resolution 1
Strike Group
11x Vallum Heavy Fighter Speed: 11522 km/s Size: 10
11x Brutus Heavy Fighter Speed: 11532 km/s Size: 9.99
This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a Space Station for construction purposes
This design is classed as a b for auto-assignment purposesThe second draft is far more ambitious and no commercial shipyard currently available would serve it. Not only a commercial fighter carrier, the Defensor also could be a frigate carrier to extend the limited range of a squadron jump capable force of 7 frigates, or even load an entire heavy cruiser inside it. However, it is meant for long range transportation rather than repairing ships in its hangars and lacks the large amount of maintenance supplies of the Sentinel fighter base. While it is not completely unprotected by armor like the fighter base, it is not intended for front line operations. An alternative proposal already exists that sacrifices all armor thickness to give it more maintenance supplies so it can repair anything that can fit inside its 21,000 tons maximum capacity hangar, and more than one voice question the point of having armor in a spacecraft like this. If it gets attacked without an escort, it will blow to pieces anyway, they say.
It may take many years before the construction of something like this design starts, first there will be the need to build a new commercial shipyard and all construction factories are still busy building more construction factories and mines to ship off-planet, then it would also have to be expanded to 80,000 tons capacity.
Code: [Select]
Defensor class Transport 80,000 tons 746 Crew 4,861.4 BP TCS 1,600 TH 6,400 EM 0
4000 km/s Armour 4-165 Shields 0-0 HTK 156 Sensors 11/1/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 0
MSP 287 Max Repair 200 MSP
Hangar Deck Capacity 21,000 tons Cargo Shuttle Multiplier 2
Commander Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months Flight Crew Berths 420
Itaipu Trinuclear MagPlasma-C800 (8) Power 6400 Fuel Use 1.68% Signature 800 Explosion 5%
Fuel Capacity 888,000 Litres Range 119.1 billion km (344 days at full power)
Taurus PDW-200 (1x10) Range 1000 km TS: 20,000 km/s ROF 5
Camara Sistemas Microsensor m1 (1) GPS 11 Range 6.1m km MCR 545.7k km Resolution 1
Camara Sistemas Nanosensor EM m1 (1) Sensitivity 1.1 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 8.3m km
Carneiro ST Básico m1 (1) Sensitivity 11 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 26.2m km
This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a b for auto-assignment purposes26/Mar/2166
One of the new shipyards is ready to begin the construction of the next generation of beam frigates while its predecessor in the same role is still being expanded to 15,000 tons capacity. With more speed through the long overdue and already technically obsolete upgrade from Ion to Magneto-Plasma, the new frigates will be able to outrun any known xenos spacecraft design for now.
31/Mar/2166
Refit of the Immaterium Jump Frigate to its new model 2 commences. All frigates will be refitted to have the same maximum speed and also have their fire controls replaced with bigger ones with more tracking speed to take advantage of it. While the velocity leap isn't that big, it will make a major difference in battle.
Code: [Select]
Immaterium m2 class Jump Frigate 3,000 tons 86 Crew 618.2 BP TCS 60 TH 518 EM 0
8641 km/s JR 7-50 Armour 8-18 Shields 0-0 HTK 18 Sensors 0/0/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 8
Maint Life 3.04 Years MSP 336 AFR 58% IFR 0.8% 1YR 55 5YR 820 Max Repair 259.2 MSP
Captain Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 6 months Morale Check Required
Evento Horizonte S3000-7 m1 Max Ship Size 3000 tons Distance 50k km Squadron Size 7
Itaipu Trinuclear MagPlasma-518 Turbo (1) Power 518.4 Fuel Use 97.20% Signature 518.4 Explosion 18%
Fuel Capacity 215,000 Litres Range 13.3 billion km (17 days at full power)
TriOptimum PAX-15 Plasma Autocannon (2) Range 60,000km TS: 8,641 km/s Power 6-6 RM 10,000 km ROF 5
NI Ballistica CTU 120Mm-8500 (2) Max Range: 120,000 km TS: 8,500 km/s 92 83 75 67 58 50 42 33 25 17
Alfaro Aeromarine Stellarator R6 (2) Total Power Output 12 Exp 7%
Camara Sistemas Microsensor m1 (1) GPS 11 Range 6.1m km MCR 545.7k km Resolution 1
This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a c for auto-assignment purposes05/May/2166
The xenos recycling program continues with the scrapping of the Highcastle 019 completed. The TN minerals acquired through these means and also salvage still completely overshadow the mining output from planets, and this will continue for some time with most mines trying to metaphorically milk rock by being stuck in low accessibility veins in Mercury and Mars and depleting veins in Earth, for now. Epsilon Leonis Minoris, the only inhabited system by humanity outside of Sol, is unfortunately lacking in mineral potential. Either that or someone made a big oversight.
09/May/2166
Decently accessible reserves of Sorium are located by Survey II in the hot Jupiter León-A I. The low colony cost León-A II planet is unfortunately devoid of TN minerals, but the geological survey of this system has only started. Maybe it could have a motherlode in addition to Sorium.
18/May/2166
Survey of the León system finds out a huge reserve of 53,444,000 units of Sorium at the fourth planet, a Super-Jovian. Definitively this system will be valuable for fuel production despite having nothing else of value, most unfortunately. None of the other Trans-Newtonian elements exist in any significant amount, unless the last bodies still to be surveyed hold out something.
28/May/2166
Corbomite, more specifically 432,964 units of it, is located in the 9th moon of the Super-Jovian León-A IV, the only noteworthy and large reserves of any TN element besides Sorium in this system so far. The really important elements exist only in trace quantities, when they exist at all.
19/Jul/2166
The lone unmanned probe at the Grimgor system detected a curious situation. Most of the enemy ships left their watch over the jump point to Omicron Piscis Austrini. This was another opportunity to weaken them further that couldn't be wasted. What were these xenos thinking? Do they expect this will bait the space force of the Imperium so they will recklessly charge as if there were not almost a hundred if not more particle lances awaiting them further in-system?
Boarding attempt against the unknown Bank 001 is initiated by the Memento Mori assault shuttles in the Justicar. This unknown xenos design seems to lack weapons. All five shuttles return to their mothership without any risk to them while the shields of the Vindico absorb the particle lances. Significant losses are suffered by the space marines however, due to the high speed of the targeted vessel.
Tell me again: why are old names being reused on new detected xenos ships which real names we do not know? Wasn't the Zun V Class designated Bank before?
A lot of our intelligence is composed by hacks devoid of creativity to give unique designations to every xenos ships we find, so they are reusing stuff.
So from a destroyer with four particle lances, the same name is given to a completely unarmed commercial spacecraft? Hacks is an understatement.
(The name list "NATO designations for Soviet Aircraft" just got depleted)
The boarding action casualty report is here:
The I Romulus Ravens lost 6 bolter marines and 1 fireteam leader named Henrique Boreale.
The III Duranium Triarii lost 6 bolter marines and 2 plasma MGs.
The IV Space Wolves lost 7 bolter marines and all fireteam leaders. Two space marines got promoted to lead the fireteams.
The V Ultrasolarii lost 4 bolter marines and also all fireteam leaders, including an once promising Roberotti Guilhermann.
The VI World Eaters lost 7 bolter marines and 1 plasma MG. The survivors are once again eager for another chainsaw party.
The Bank 001 is definitively not a military design, it simply stays there in the jump point instead of chasing the Cruiser Flotilla, which is barely gaining distance for it is only 34 km/s faster than the pursuing vessel.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:05
While the armor of the Bank 001 was penetrated, another salvo of 4 particle lances hits the Vindico, reducing its shields to 47%. Worrisome is the fact the fleet remains under jump shock and unable to return fire. At this point it is obvious trying to get far away enough to not get hit is useless. Instead the only choice is to keep at point-blank and hope the jump shock will be over before the lances deplete all force from the shields and start causing serious damage. 7 heavy plasma macro cannons will quickly change the tide of this battle, once they are online.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:40
3 gory remnants of xenos out of 25 killed reptilians are the first redecoration of the World Eaters within the Bank 001. Not even one space marine was lost in boarding combat for now. The Cruiser Flotilla still has not managed to open fire, unfortunately.
02/Aug/2166 23:13:50
The Vindico finally recovers from jump shock, unleashing a brutal point-blank salvo of plasma, rail and Gauss gun fire that immediately paralyzes the Zun V 033 with the three shots with strength rating 96 from the heavy plasma macro cannons. While it seems wasteful to not have brought more marines to board this ship for this particular operation, this is by all accounts the home system of the Lizardpeople Hegemony, therefore no window of opportunity exists to send a tug all the way from Sol to move it out of here in the first place.
5 seconds later...
The Justicar recovers from jump shock and finishes the job against the only nearby armed alien ship for now, with another blast of heavy plasma and its Gauss cannon as a finisher. Cruiser Flotilla I will "rescue" the life pods from the destroyed xenos ship, then wait on the other side of the jump point for Bank 001, whatever it is, to be fully conquered by the space marines, for the best in life can only be this: To crush your enemies in boarding combat, see their ships driven before you in the shipyards of Holy Terra and hear the lamentations of their "women", the Earthling xenos lovers.
It has been decided that boarding action reports in operations with zero casualties among space marines from combat are as redundant as reporting how many reptiles a hunter in the swamps of the Pantanal or Louisiana got in a routine lizard season. Right now it's Lizardpeople Season and the big hunters are really making it big in the big leagues, specially the World Eaters who also make this hunt very brutal.
The previous statement is not wholly correct. There is a report on numbers of hunted alligators, crocodiles and the likes for Earth, a necessary bureaucracy to ensure lasting species preservation, but that is small scale compared to the "hunt" that is happening in the void of space. The population of xenos is not under any environmental protection laws for sure and nobody will shed a tear should they go extinct outside a minority of bleeding hearts. Their tears are music to the ears of most.
Rumor is a World Eater wrote a book called "To Serve Lizardpeople" and recorded his feasting over his first recipe, Long iguana-on-a-stick, where the long is an allusion to the infamous word "long pork" as an euphemism for cannibalism. He died of food poisoning that day because no Earth being can metabolize xenos carbs, fats or proteins due organic molecules between worlds being completely different and incompatible as a result of dramatic evolutionary differences over eons of parallel development of biological life across the universe. The book still sold five times more after the author's death no matter its apparent uselessness. The World Eaters would follow the recipes regardless of that, not to eat, but to add some literal spice to their methods of killing xenos.
Later someone decided to adapt these recipes for a plethora of Earth reptiles including snakes, iguanas, crocodiles and "cloned dinosaurs", this last idea quite far-fetched. Would someone really clone dinosaurs as livestock for a gourmet reptilian meat restaurant? Reptilian meats took a high rise in popularity ever since the war against the Lizardpeople.
02/Aug/2166 23:19:40
The Duranium Triarii lost one bolter marine, but the xenos are going down very fast.
02/Aug/2166 23:20:40
Another loss for the Duranium Triarii, a fireteam leader this time.
02/Aug/2166 23:23:40
The World Eaters finally do a real slaughter, 7 out of 35. Everyone did great in this moment. The World Eaters are throwing salts and spices over the dead corpses of xenos, as if rushing one first step to prepare recipes just for the spectacle of horror and carnage once the battle is over in honor of the writer of the great book "To Serve Lizardpeople".
02/Aug/2166 23:24:40
In a throwback to another infamous boarding operation, several xenos throw themselves out of the airlock because witnessing the World Eaters trying culinary with the corpses of their fallen drove them to such desperate act. The fact not all of the fallen were actually dead when the VI World Eaters eviscerated them, flayed them then salted their flesh or chopped their limbs off, not necessarily in this order, and their final screams of excruciating agony also contributed to such an outcome. Bank 001 fell and was identified as a new type of xenos ship, the Sarth V Class Scout:
Code: [Select]
Sarth V class Scout 13,879 tons 262 Crew 1,911.3 BP TCS 278 TH 1,880 EM 0
6772 km/s JR 5-250 Armour 1-51 Shields 0-0 HTK 63 Sensors 66/66/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 0
Maint Life 0.03 Years MSP 86 AFR 1541% IFR 21.4% 1YR 3,356 5YR 50,347 Max Repair 470 MSP
Captain Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 24 months Morale Check Required
J14000(5-250) Military Jump Drive Max Ship Size 14000 tons Distance 250k km Squadron Size 5
Internal Fusion Drive EP940 (2) Power 1880 Fuel Use 46.13% Signature 940 Explosion 10%
Fuel Capacity 3,900,000 Litres Range 109.6 billion km (187 days at full power)
CIWS-200 (1x4) Range 1000 km TS: 20,000 km/s ROF 5
Active Search Sensor AS128-R125 (1) GPS 23625 Range 128.6m km Resolution 125
Thermal Sensor TH6-66 (1) Sensitivity 66 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 64.2m km
EM Sensor EM6-66 (1) Sensitivity 66 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 64.2m km
ECM 20
This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a f for auto-assignment purposesA Thermal Sensor called TH6-66 and an EM Sensor called EM6-66. World Eaters are the VIth of the first space marine squadrons. Some believe this is no coincidence. 666, the number of the World Eaters repeated three times. Is it a preternatural sign, a leftover of a blessing given by an unknown deity who favors them?
07/Aug/2166
Two Barge unknown class ships, three Highcastle IV Gauss and three Badger particle beam destroyers move in to protect the jump point from Grimgor to Omicron Piscis Austrini. The recently boarded vessel is on its way to Sol and it is clear this error of judgement by the reptoids is going to end.
11/Aug/2166
More six Barge Class unknowns and twenty-seven Zun V particle lance destroyers join the jump point defense at the xenos home system. They don't seem interested in leaving that position again any time soon.
28/Aug/2166
Training of new reservists for space marines is completed. All space marine squadrons are now reinforced to full strength and ready for more boarding operations. An incomplete overview of all forces as of this date is available below:
01/Sep/2166
The captured SC Bank 001 finally arrives at Holy Terra. There is no immediate slipway available to scrap it yet. The bounty of the boarding operations of the last years has been big after all.
21/Sep/2166
Uranus LP stabilized, resulting in 3 Lagrange points in Sol, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune. Facere Cadia heads now for Saturn to further accelerate in-system traffic. No dumb Uranus puns this time, really.
07/Oct/2166
Highcastle IV 053 is finally scrapped. The slipway where this happened is now occupied with the refit of the Justicar to the new Strike Cruiser design, that will have not 5 but 10 Memento Mori Assault shuttles for maximum boarding capabilities.
03/Dec/2166
Survey II, after overhaul and complete survey of the somewhat disappointing León system is sent to investigate the mineral worth of the much closer Abaddon system, from where no enemy activity has been detected for a long time, and thus it is no longer deemed under hostile control. Hopefully some very precious motherlode will be found there.
28/Dec/2166
Four Gladius III Class Frigates are refitted to the new, faster and better Gladius IV while the Carnifex Light Cruiser is finally built. The new Gladius IV uses separate, single Gauss turrets for better anti-missile defense, in addition to being faster of course. However, it had to downgrade its fire control maximum range a bit to fit in everything.
Code: [Select]
Gladius IV class Frigate 3,000 tons 77 Crew 761.4 BP TCS 60 TH 518 EM 0
8641 km/s Armour 8-18 Shields 0-0 HTK 19 Sensors 11/0/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 16.8
Maint Life 2.10 Years MSP 278 AFR 72% IFR 1.0% 1YR 84 5YR 1,265 Max Repair 259.2 MSP
Captain Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 6 months Morale Check Required
Itaipu Trinuclear MagPlasma-518 Turbo (1) Power 518.4 Fuel Use 97.20% Signature 518.4 Explosion 18%
Fuel Capacity 215,000 Litres Range 13.3 billion km (17 days at full power)
Taurus CEMB-5 Turret (2x5) Range 50,000km TS: 20000 km/s Power 0-0 RM 50,000 km ROF 5
NI Ballistica CTU 120Mm-20k (2) Max Range: 120,000 km TS: 20,000 km/s 92 83 75 67 58 50 42 33 25 17
Camara Sistemas Microsensor m1 (1) GPS 11 Range 6.1m km MCR 545.7k km Resolution 1
Carneiro ST Básico m1 (1) Sensitivity 11 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 26.2m km
This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a c for auto-assignment purposes29/Dec/2166
Lizardpeople asteroid mining operation detected in Abaddon's Asteroid Number Two(that is its name for now, such creativity), completely undefended and ripe for conquest.
08/Jan/2167
Another asteroid mining operation from the xenos detected, this time in Asteroid Number Fifteen.
16/Jan/2167
Forty-five Bark Class unknowns detected in the Manticore system escorted by a few Gauss PD escorts built using inferior tech to the Gauss cannons of the Imperium, at the jump point to Xi Piscis Austrini. The Vindico and Incendrius Heavy Cruisers and the Carnifex Light Cruiser are dispatched to identify the threat level and if possible eliminate this force.
21/Jan/2167
Surface-to-Orbit force detected at Asteroid Number Thirteen in the Abaddon system, but strangely it did not attack the Survey II fleet. The number thirteen was a lucky number for the Imperium this time.
31/Jan/2167
The Elvandar IV 012 finally scrapped is in Holy Terra for more precious minerals. Alien forces in the Manticore system just vanished from short range jump point sensors of the recon satellite. A sweep through identified jump points there will be performed to attempt locating it, for it is probably heading to another jump point.
One term describes the battle in the Manticore system: piece of cake. With one exception: the eagerness and reckless maneuvering during the opening phases allows the xenos to launch two barrages of Gauss fire in return causing internal damage to the Vindico Heavy Cruiser and the loss of 3 crewmen. After that rather than attempt to follow the convoy directly, they position themselves in static waypoints. With the targeted fleet moving at less than 200 km/s and the escorts refusing to detach to move faster than that and engage the ad-hoc Cruiser Flotilla II, this becomes a very boring battle, so much the Emperor did not have even anything to comment about it and that is it.
One of the Bark ships surrenders. It is a Fuel Harvester. About as exciting as it is fast. The shooting gallery, turkey shooting game, boring routine xenos purging or whatever name it is that depicts this battle with utmost accuracy continues.
Code: [Select]
Tulan XVIII class Fuel Harvester 94,826 tons 426 Crew 1,617.2 BP TCS 1,897 TH 360 EM 0
189 km/s Armour 1-185 Shields 0-0 HTK 210 Sensors 0/0/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 0
MSP 10 Max Repair 68 MSP
Commander Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months
Fuel Harvester: 35 modules producing 1,400,000 litres per annum
Commercial Internal Fusion Drive EP360.0 (1) Power 360 Fuel Use 2.01% Signature 360 Explosion 3%
Fuel Capacity 950,000 Litres Range 89.2 billion km (5463 days at full power)
Refuelling Capability: 80,000 litres per hour Complete Refuel 11 hours
CIWS-200 (2x4) Range 1000 km TS: 20,000 km/s ROF 5
This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a Fuel Harvester for auto-assignment purposesShortly later, Captain Aldina of the Carnifex is given another Raider medal for over five hundred thousand tons of xenos commercial shipping destroyed. That is right, it is not an exaggerated number, this is the scale of this convoy raiding damage.
02/Feb/2167 19:40:30
Two more Fuel Harvesters surrender, both with their engines intact. However with their speed being pitiful 189 km/s the only Tug of the Imperium will have a lot of work to do this year because having them reach Sol on their own will take forever. These designs are pretty useless for the strategic necessities of humanity. Better to scrap them and use their harvester modules on future vessels that won't take forever to reach a gas giant with Sorium.
02/Feb/2167 19:43:25
Another Fuel Harvester surrenders. No armed alien vessels remain. This will certainly be a setback for the xenos. From "rescued" xenos after this battle was over, something of dubious utility is also discovered:
Code: [Select]
Spaces End VI class Construction Ship 70,729 tons 246 Crew 1,804.3 BP TCS 1,415 TH 2,700 EM 0
1908 km/s Armour 1-152 Shields 0-0 HTK 67 Sensors 0/0/0/0 DCR 1 PPV 0
MSP 15 Max Repair 1000 MSP
Kapitan tret'yego ranga Control Rating 1 BRG
Intended Deployment Time: 3 months
Jump Point Stabilisation: 180 days
Commercial Magnetic Fusion Drive EP450.0 (6) Power 2700 Fuel Use 2.01% Signature 450 Explosion 3%
Fuel Capacity 250,000 Litres Range 31.6 billion km (191 days at full power)
CIWS-200 (2x4) Range 1000 km TS: 20,000 km/s ROF 5
This design is classed as a Commercial Vessel for maintenance purposes
This design is classed as a Stabilisation Ship for auto-assignment purposesNot completely useless, for it exposes a worrisome knowledge: the Lizardpeople Hegemony just had another leap in their propulsion technology, but they have yet to build anything using this new Magnetic Fusion. The existing Imperial cruisers being slower than the new Lizardpeople particle lance destroyers once they start showing up will be a death knell for any future offensive operations by the Imperium until such advantage is neutralized by yet another refit.
03/Feb/2167
After being threatened to be sent to the World Eaters special arena and "culinary" reality show to entertain them, one of the Lizardpeople share technical details that will accelerate Shipbuilding for the Imperium (560 BP)
Meanwhile the mysterious aliens at Iota Ursae Majoris apparently have a neutral relationship with the Lizardpeople, but Intelligence specialists still advise caution, these other aliens might actually be even less willing to negotiate than the already known reptoids.
09/Feb/2167
The Abaddon system is confirmed as a dead end by Survey I gravitational modules and gathered Intelligence data from captured Lizardpeople. Its complete conquest is a low priority now as the continued geological survey has yet to detect some really great mineral reserves.
14/Feb/2167
The refit of the Umbra to the new Alpharius Class intelligence Corvette is complete. Immediately it sets course for its most dangerous and bold espionage mission so far, if not the most dangerous espionage mission in the entire history of the Novus Imperium.
Emperor. We must stop this Operation Glow in the Dark IIA Blackbird immediately, which name sounds funny too. Someone might have misinformed you about the tactical meaning of squadron jump radius
This is the best shot we have to catch up to xenos in propulsion technology, by having ELINT right in their home world. The risks are more than worth it.
But there is no really significant chance of success, I am telling you! Do not complain I did not warn you later
I will take responsibility for this operation, but I will not put an end to what could drastically turn the tide of this war in our favor because of high failure chances.
Success chances are almost impossible, but if you insist, so be it.
26/Feb/2167
The Saturn Lagrange point is finally stabilized, the Facere Cadia is now going on a much slower project to stabilize Earth's LP to truly maximize space travel velocity across Sol. Meanwhile the great operation of intelligence is about to reach its dramatic moment of truth. For this endeavor the saying a picture is worth a thousand words, even if the picture itself contains words, is probably very accurate. Let the images speak for themselves of these men of courage who now travel through the void of space with no fear.
The long past of success of the ICV Umbra is the source of Magneto-Plasma propulsion and many other great successes in espionage for the Imperium against the Lizardpeople Hegemony, and now the high water mark of this venerable ship is about to begin, an example for all in service of the Imperium, the dauntlessness that is inspiring in a completely unarmed and unarmored ship, its defenses only speed and wits. Let all remember its approach into the great space-time shortcut, for this is the moment this particular spacecraft and her crew will never be forgotten, come what may.
...
...
...
...
A Polarized Imperium: Episode 5
THE END
(Of this Episode)
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT YEAR
THE END
(Of this Episode)
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT YEAR
