Story based Comments and Questions

[ardem (OP)]

Questions about the characters, aspects outside the story in the actual game, and any encouragement is always welcomed 

[procyon]

I definitely like Chapter 1 alot.   
Definitely grabs your attention quickly.
The grammar sometimes makes me re-read sections, but the story is awesome.

[ardem (OP)]

Grammar: That is what I am trying to improve if you can point out a section or two, I will rewrite them, and hopefully learn from it. Chapter 2 is halfway through so hopefully not to much longer

[ardem (OP)]

Question for the few people that perhaps are enjoying the read.
Who is your favorite character at the moment and why and if there was an additional character point of view who would you like to see?

[ardem (OP)]

Sorry that Post 11 did not have things that go bang, but there is a thing call story development which sometime I need to occassionaly try my hand no matter how ugly it is <wink>

[ardem (OP)]

Enjoy Post 12 - Something goes Bang, not a full on fleet battle yet but we are getting there.

[ardem (OP)]

Post 13 - this was enjoyable to write as Osuma is now taking a more central role in the formation of a new government and way of life. I thought about writing about the turmoil and getting Osuma involved in some of the skull duggery. But although he is ambitious I don't see Osuma as cruel or wanting to destroy others lives. He just is more self absorbed and selfish.

Hope you enjoy.