Deeds on the Frontier - Comments

[SpaceMarine (OP)]

Any Comments can be posted here for the purposes of formatting, any and all are appreciated.

[El Pip]

The Gorgon's had better hope that this unknown adversary is slow moving and/or passive. A decade is a long time and the enemy is just one jump from Sol, the 'Frontier' is very close indeed.

[SpaceMarine (OP)]

Space is a big place, however yes that is their wishful thinking.

[Gyrfalcon]

I enjoy the standard 'no need for a space navy' until the first explorers become exploders. At which point the government panics, scrambles, and has to throw together a fully functional navy within a year or two. Bonus points if there has been no research into offensive and defensive components, because why do you need lasers, shields and missiles when humanity is obviously alone in the universe and united in a single, peaceful government?

[SpaceMarine (OP)]

That is the classic aurora conundrum, "what do you mean we should of built a navy!" "humanity is clearly alone and will control the entire galaxy, stop talking such nonsense!" 

[Garfunkel]

I would suggest that to improve readability, you put the speech lines, where a character is talking, separate from the description lines. For example:

The commodore walked across the shuttle deck of the newly built cruiser, admiring the fresh paint covering its bulkheads. He turned to his side, a fresh faced young lieutenant and whispered:
"To be honest, I have no idea what I'm supposed to inspect here so let's just waste some time looking at the paint."
The aide, struggling to keep his pokerface intact, could only nod in agreement.

Hope that helps. Also, browsers should have an inbuilt basic spell checker that helps with punctuation and capitalization, which are also important for readability.